01 - Horse of a Different Color

[cantwhinnyemall]

[The newest resident of 1123 Taylor Road has awoken and is stumbling around in the dark. Oddly enough, the doorknob he manages to come across does not snap off in his fingers, nor does the light switch by the frame. He appears to have stumbled into some sort of bizarre science-fiction bathroom. The toilet appears to be filled with water, of all

Comments

[worstvikingever]

Welcome to Mayfield, and I'm sorry the phones aren't good enough for you but they're what's around. Actually from my perspective they're awesome. Way more advanced than what we've got back home.

[cantwhinnyemall]

This is. Not your native universe?

[worstvikingever]

Nope. Isn't for a lot of people here, either. You can tell, usually. If someone is really deliriously happy to be here, they're probably a native. The rest of us call them "drones" though I'm not really sure why.

[cantwhinnyemall]

[Drones. The word has... disturbing connotations.]

Due to a connection with their matriarch's breeding rituals, I presume.

1/2

[ariesapocalypse]

( this was not what she was expecting when she picked up the phone...

ok time to stop freaking out and actually use the audio hook! )

[ariesapocalypse]

There is an explanation. I am not sure you'll like it.

[cantwhinnyemall]

[Oh good it is time for mutual freaking.]

Aradia?!

I. Are you.

...I think. I need to sit down.

[ariesapocalypse]

That might be for the best, yes.

Have you already figured out that you're human?

[repeatsalvation]

You're in a cage designed to look like an American town in the 1950s known as Mayfield. Escape so far has proven impossible, as the town appears to be a space in and of itself. Attempting to leave the town will merely cause you to come back around in a circle to the other side of the town.

The exact reasons for why we're en caged is unknown. The pretext is that we're expected to behave as if we come from the time period, such as living in assigned families and proceeding to act as such a family would. Behavior that deviates from this script can be grounds for punishment, specifically brainwashing that can last for a few hours to being permanent.

Anything that defined you as you, such as powers, physical features, and clothing have been stripped from you, though the town tends to give one back every month or so.

Anything else you would like to know, or would that suffice?

[cantwhinnyemall]

That was a commendable explanation. For some reason I was expecting a drawn-out and convoluted exchange of data from which both parties more baffled than when they first began. I am relieved that this will not be the case.

You were very clear, but I do find myself with one question. What, exactly, is American?

[repeatsalvation]

We don't have time to mince words on the situation.

American refers to being or having to do with America, specifically the United States of America, a country found on the planet Earth.

I'll assume you aren't human, from the fact you're unfamiliar with it.

[cantwhinnyemall]

You are correct.

Although I am not entirely unfamiliar with Earth itself.

[doublerinbow]

Those modifications will wear off! ♪ Just give it some time.

[she is absolutely sure of this, since her robot body came back within a few weeks, and same with the trolls that she met earlier. ...Never mind that Miku-nee is still human. She's probably doing something wrong.]

[cantwhinnyemall]

Your information is somewhat alleviating.

I require a more specific time frame.

[doublerinbow]

Well, for me, it was about a week or two. ♪ I've seen it take a little longer though, so I can't be too specific.

[cantwhinnyemall]

For the sake of clarification, how many days are in a week?

[kinda_crabby]

Oh.

Oh, I want to be disappointed and pissed off about this, but I just can't be. I totally saw this coming a million light years away, so being pissed about this not-at-all shocking turn of events would be completely retarded.

And despite all that common sense, I'm still pissed.

[cantwhinnyemall]

Is this about the Highblood.

Did he prove successful in his annihilatory objectives.

[kinda_crabby]

As far as I know, that has nothing to do with this. Also, he's here, so that definitely has nothing to do with this. How the fuck would he even cause this, seriously. This would be the shittiest afterlife.

Besides, you were taking care of that problem, weren't you?

[cantwhinnyemall]

Yes.

I must report that I have failed to carry out your final orders. You may punish me however you see fit.