02 - Back in the Race

[cantwhinnyemall]

I have consulted your Earth calendar and it seems that I have no memory of the past few decisweeps. I require information on several matters and am in possession of sufficient pattern recognition to recognize that a straight answer for most of them is unlikely to be forthcoming

Comments

[cantwhinnyemall]

You know her then. Tell me of her current circumstances.

If she has been dwelling in Mayfield for this long without my protection then it is quite possible that unfortunate circumstances have befallen her and I would very much like to confirm that this has not been the case.

[His voice shakes a little near the middle of that sentence, but quickly regains its usual strongness.]

[cantwhinnyemall]

I am intensely relieved to hear that she has secured a purrtector goshdarnit I have cats on my thinkpan I mean protector in my absence.

As her moirail I of course must appraise you in turn. Shall we proceed?

[crusthatecean]

Oh, you're back. Just who I wanted to fucking hear from! The troll I've fucking missed most!

Nepeta's fine, you sweatlogged douche.

[cantwhinnyemall]

I appreciate your information.

...I am not presently perspiring, although if you proceed spewing rude epithets in my auricular clots I may become.

Agitated.

[crusthatecean]

Yeah, we wouldn't want that.

Anyway, okay, that was probably more sarcastic than it needed to be, it's not like you're fucking Eridan or anything. I'm just in a bad mood.

You've been panscrubbed since not too long after I first got here.

[cantwhinnyemall]

I am asking this with absolutely no sarcasm, but are you ever in any other subtype of mood.

In any case I am relieved to have no memory of the experience.

[miraculls]

Hahaha, that Equius dogg what all up I be hearing? Catsis be motherfuckin' chill as an ice-cold, bro, she'll be real glad to see you again and shit.

[cantwhinnyemall]

Highblood.

...I cannot help but notice that you appear to be in a less regal state of mind than I last recall.

[Either more time shenanigans are afoot or he's undergone some sort of miraculous relapse.]

[miraculls]

Uh...sorry, dogg, I ain't got a motherfuckin' clue what you be on about. You asking me to roleplay shit with you again?

[cantwhinnyemall]

Thank you but I believe that I have been sufficiently put in my place for now.

I may. Require disciple at a later date.

[partysense]

Wow, what?

[she did not understand a word you just said but she loves talking!!]

[cantwhinnyemall]

[He doesn't recognize this voice from anywhere in Mayfield or out of it. He's already acquired the information required but it would be unspeakably rude to hang up on the stranger.]

My name is Equius Zahhak.

[partysense]

[Equius?? Why is he named after her country... Oh well. Maybe he's from Equestria too!!]

I'm Pinkie Pie! I don't think we've met! [she says this like she expects them have to already. after all, she knows everypony ever.]

[cantwhinnyemall]

[Pink. The color of absolute ROYALTY. Clearly this is an important personage indeed.]

I understand that I have not been in any fit state to forge bonds with new acquaintances for the past few decisweeps.

[hungry_monster]

[Just ...reading a book in the background. If he's noticed the strange new housemate he hasn't said anything.]

[cantwhinnyemall]

[Turning about to walk by him...]

[DOUBLETAKE]

[Oh fudgesicles an adult. Even with knowledge of human social structures there's something very unnerving about this intergenerational hive-sharing business.]

I assume that you are the male adult custodian.

[hungry_monster]

[Looks up from his book.]

I suppose that's one way to put it. My name is Johan.

I take it you woke up here?

[cantwhinnyemall]

[Man up, Equius; he's not even particularly intimidating you are perfectly capable of holding a civil conversation.]

That is correct.

I am Equius.