03 - The Milk of Human Kindess (Backdated to 8/17)

[cantwhinnyemall]

[Equius' voice sounds... off. If you've been up to date with current events you can probably guess that he's either been poisoned or swilled down a bottle full of razor blades. In this case it is the latter.]

This is absolutely unforgivable. I wish to state for the record that I am not perspiring in any unusual capacity; I am simply incredibly - [

Comments

[crusthatecean]

Your stupid lusus milk is disgusting and you are disgusting.

[After a second.]

...Hey, douchebag, are you okay?

[cantwhinnyemall]

Aurthour's lactic secretions are unparalleled in taste and nutritional value and you are clearly an uncultured boor in the realm of musclebeast-related gourmet.

In answer to your question rather than your uncalled for jibe at my culinary preferences my physical condition is somewhat diminished due to. Er. Razor blades. It would appear that I have consumed several.

[crusthatecean]

Oh. Well, that sounds pretty fucking awful.

[He doesn't know Equius well or like him at all, but he does feel some responsibility for him. Equius isn't really a bad guy, he's just irritating, and Karkat did sort of send him to die.]

Holding up okay?

[cantwhinnyemall]

It is possible that I may survive. It is also possible that I may perish. To be honest, internal injuries are not in my area of expertise.

As a word, awful does rather sum up the experience.

[cantwhinnyemall]

[He's had worse but not much worse. And, well. Mayfield. The concept of death is edging more into a spectacularly painful annoyance than anything else, and he does not quite understand why a stranger - from another species for pete's sake - is fretting over him.]

If you know of one that can assist that would be appreciated. Most of the damage appears to be internal rather than external which I understand requires a specialist.

[cantwhinnyemall]

...Yes. Bring me a glass of milk.

Proper milk.

[allnaturalmagic]

Try not to talk much, if it's painful...

If only I had my magic, I'd be able to help you and everyone else...

[cantwhinnyemall]

The pain will not cease whether I am vocalizing or not, and quite frankly the difference in degree is minor enough to not be much of an issue.

[allnaturalmagic]

Are you sure? Maybe you should try to rest, regardless.

[cantwhinnyemall]

I am absolutely positive and you are not a licensed physician.

[made_this_town]

[only equius can make milk sound like a dirty word.] Fuckdammit stop talking. I will never drink anything again.

[cantwhinnyemall]

[This fellow sounds familiar. Hard to place the voice from just a couple of sentences, though.]

Resorting to vulgar language is the sign of a weak and uncreative mind.

[That is an outright lie; Karkat in particular is a veritable poet in the elaborate medium of FUCK YOU. But it's still incredibly flipping impolite.]

[made_this_town]

Insulting me is the sign of a suicidal and soon-to-be-stabbed mind, chump. Say that again and I'll show you just how motherfucking creative I can get.

[cantwhinnyemall]

I have already said it once but you are indeed quite close to giving me cause to restate my swiftly dwindling opinion of you.

phone

[bridesearching]

That's a nasty cough, smart-sounding guy! A nice lady told me loong ago, if you have grape juice and honey together, that helps - and it tastes nice with honey in it!

wow I am overflowing with late

[cantwhinnyemall]

I shall take your advice into consideration.

it's okay!

[bridesearching]

You're going to try it?

Re: it's okay!

[cantwhinnyemall]

I have nothing to lose from it.

...Although perhaps not right now. Fruit juices and dairy are notoriously ill company.