Okay, everyone. It is that time of year again. Time for me to start shedding my skin and become new again. I am suddenly inspired, suddenly ready to make a move and to start changing the things that have been hindering me. Spring isn't quite here yet, but I can sense that it is close by and that some good reckoning days are quickly approaching and ( Read more... )

go home Dracula: i have a feeling you treat people like you treat cars or computers or chapsticks.
go home Dracula: if you dont seem to have something at the moment, youll take whatever you can get.
go home Dracula: and you keep that whatever close by until you find something better

sometimes ross knows me better than i know myself.

My mood right now is really indescribable. I'd like to say that I'm enthusiastic,that I have a rekindled hope for my future and that I feel as if I'm reaching new beginnings. But at the same time I feel depressed and reluctant to let old things pass. I've always had a pretty solid grasp on my emotions (um, actually NEVER. stop lying.), but these ( Read more... )

I wonder if it is time yet to do something about my anger issues. Every little thing that happens in my life in what I view as an unfit way, makes me incredibly frustrated and angry. Even if for instance, the water in the shower doesn't get hot fast enough. Or if the television show I am watching has too many commercials or if I call someone and ( Read more... )

This book is taunting me, and torturing me and splitting open my insides. It is "The Eden Express" by Mark Vonnegut (son of that other Vonnegut guy) and it is literary gold as far as I am concerned. Albeit I am not yet too far into it and I'll agree that perhaps the writing is not super-stellar, but I can already tell this is a book that is going ( Read more... )

At work; where my body rebels and rejects sitting in a chair for 7plus hours. My stomach is in shambles, I can hardly feel my legs and it is not quite noon. I warned myself against ever taking a desk job, a social job. I have a terrible habit of never listening to my own best advice and here I am now. Roped in. Tangled up, everyone's scapegoat. ( Read more... )

everything was crushing, pressing hitting up against me i kept taking back steps, stepping back as all approached faster and quickly i was smothered in the skin of disease and disguise and the sky kept its reign on me kept me running on by kept me rained upon the sidewalk laughed and called up to my feet said 'you best keep on movin cause you're ( Read more... )

I have high hopes for the rest of this week ( Read more... )

Virginia was what I needed. I'm so glad I went and I'm sorry to have had to return. Life just seems to move much more slowly down there, but it was such a wonderful little getaway from the hassle of living in new york. I got to see Lauren, she looks healthy and happy and her life is slowly but surely coming together. That really makes me feel good ( Read more... )

Oh the bouts of depression the fall brings, they really eat away at me. I can barely move some days out of sheer lack of desire and motivation. I have no want or drive to do anything. I don't want to work, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to hang out with friends, even just listening to music is frustrating to me. I just want to curl up ( Read more... )