i have moved my rants and musings to:

http://www.carathejerk.blogspot.com

visit me there!!

Hokay ( Read more... )

im really starting to feel my psychosis taking a hold of me lately. I cry in the middle of sentences, I have shakes, I don't sleep, Im burning myself with my hair straightener and laughing about it, all i think about is brutal murder and sometimes i look at pictures online, im becoming afraid of more and more things, my tastebuds don't taste ( Read more... )

I'm still miserable. In fact, I dont think i can ever stop being miserable. I have no motivation, I have no desire no interests. I just want to lie in bed all day and listen to music. thats it. i visited connetquot on thursday with matt and saw all my old teachers. It was nice to go back there, and awkward at the same time. I guess I'm glad to be ( Read more... )

i do hereby solemnly swear that one day, i will murder my sister. I will torture her slowly and very painfully and make sure she knows that it was me who got the last laugh. I will cut her up into tiny little pieces and make sure they are never found. She will writhe in pain, and cry and scream for help and all I will do is laugh in her face. Who's ( Read more... )

When I was a little girl, about 6 or 7 at the most I had discovered the magic of cassettes and of their respective players. I can remember the very first time I put on a pair of headphones and the first cassette I had found lying around the house was River of Dreams by Billy Joel. Now, I have blocked out a large portion of my childhood, if not ( Read more... )

my insides are dead. forever.

I don't think people take enough time these days, to sit back and remove themselves from the picture and look at the world and life from an overhead perspective. I don't think people realize that day by day history is written and the entire future is changed based on the smallest of events. It is so interesting to think about how the time we are ( Read more... )

Today was the first day of the new semester, which hopefully will be incredibly more successful then last semester, although one can never be too sure. A lot has been going on, not socially of course, on account of me having little to no friends, but rather emotionally and mentally. I have this insatiable urge to move on with my life, and to really ( Read more... )

Not relying anymore on pipe dream fantasies bestowed upon me, not listening anymore to the beckoning calls of careers and social acceptance, not worrying anymore about whether or not I'll make it. Not caring anymore about who or what I am hurting, not letting anything get through to me, not being prepared for the future, not wondering why i can ( Read more... )