i went on a real date with a grown up man and it was wonderful.

here are some resolutions because boy do i need them ( Read more... )

a) i don't have a crush anymore. i'm too smart to delude myself into thinking that guys are "shy." if they like you they make make the effort and if they don't, they don't ( Read more... )

i'm tired from drinking but not getting drunk and i wish that i was cuddling and being cuddled instead of thinking about the fact that boys, on some level, deeply terrify me, and i hate that the past 19 months have made that my current truth.

sometimes i get hit with this fear of one day developing breast cancer, despite the fact that there is no cancer on both sides of my family. it's scary to know that you can be a responsible woman and do a breast self examination every month and still miss a lump if its imbedded deep in the tissue, which is very often the case for larger women like ( Read more... )

At the time I wrote “Forever,” I had a 14-year-old daughter, and she was reading a lot of books about young love. But in every book, when a girl succumbed to having sex with her boyfriend, she would be punished with an unwanted pregnancy, a grisly abortion sometimes leading to her death, or she would be sent away by her family. The boys in these ( Read more... )

real-friends-and-people-i-can-trust-to-not-start-unneccesary-drama-only journal, now.

i daydream about dropping out of school when i'm feeling this overwhelmed. i'm only capable of listening to urgent riffs from 2001-2003 when i feel like this. i hate that tomorrow i'll wake up and the first thought on my mind will be that how i'm feeling right now really wasn't such a big deal. i'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted ( Read more... )

this i've-been-sleeping-alone-since-october thing is starting to crush me.

load number one of laundry commenced 4 minutes ago. i have about 5 more to go. i always leave these things (essays, packing, other deadlined entities) to the last minute because it's kind of fun to race the clock. i'm going to back to wheatonia on sunday morning at 8, which in meyers translation is 9:30 or 10. i have too many people that i want ( Read more... )