today it was true that life is nothing more or less than really beautiful and terrible.
my sadness wasn't for me. it was duller and not as angry. but it didn't really hurt any less.

and i have only two hours left in which to soak up enough home feelings for the next two weeks.
gotta go play the flute.

i am sad tonight. it is tonight that i hate questions, food, sleep. and here is the thing that i want so much to ask but cannot ( Read more... )

how terribly inconsequential. goodbye, alice in wonderland.

here's what they don't tell you ( Read more... )

so. even though i am a procrastinator bigtime and have not yet started the rough draft for my due-tomorrow-comp, i am relatively happy. i think getting new things makes me happy, but that is worrisome. so i am going to say that it is deciding how i want things to be when i grow up and am on my own is why i am cheerful. and the wonderful stress ( Read more... )

i had a dream last night that i was on fire and screaming for help and people just looked at me. even my mom. and i had a baby in my arms. nobody would help me.

i think between today and yesterday i have looked at too many pictures of myself. i am incredibly sad and worthless-feeling. i wonder why that is. i can no longer wrap my head around things. and i'm mad at someone important who doesnt even know it. and it's making me sad too.

so the downside to having hannah spill coke all over my leg is that now i have a million bug bites. actually, seven. but now that i think of it, there is probably no upside to having a screaming three year old spill pop on you. my weekend was really great. so far. i have hope.

i need to find something to worry about other than my head