Another true thing that Billy saw while he was unconscious in Vermont was the work that he and the others had to do in Dresden during the month before the city was destroyed. They washed windows and swept floors and cleaned lavatories and put jars into boxes and sealed cardboard boxes in a factory that made malt syrup. The syrup was enriched with ( Read more... )

i went to church on sunday for the first time in a while. it was strangely comforting. there were a lot of people there that i knew and liked. who i knew accepted me no matter what state my 'spiritual life' is in. there is still bitterness there but i think it's starting to fade. i think i'm starting to be able to let go of the things i need to let ( Read more... )

it's 3 degrees outside right now (37f).
this sucks. it's supposed to be spring
and it's snowed at least twice this week.


( Read more... )

there is a darkness inside me with fuzzy edges and a solidity that weighs down my heart. it has taken away that layer of hesitation in sharing my insecurities with the people around me. i have been seeking out heavier things. one thing that has kept me from falling completely into it is that i live with my mum. there is a stability there that i ( Read more... )

Were it possible for us to see further than our knowledge reaches, and yet a little way beyond the outworks of our divining, perhaps we would endure our sadnesses with greater confidence than our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown; our feelings grow mute in shy perplexity, everything in us withdraws ( Read more... )

my heart has a huge crack in it ( Read more... )

O sweet spontaneous ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

i don't think i believe in god anymore. or, at least, i don't believe in a lot of the things i used to. i didn't ever really realize this until i was talking to my friend josh the other day and he told me about how god told him to talk about prayer with his roommate. and it surprised me that he thought/knew it was god. i used to hear/listen to that ( Read more... )

demian - herman hesse ( Read more... )