my christmas sucked watching traditions fall apart and tears flow from my eyeswatching my uncle take over my dads ritual of making breakfast... and then not seeing my brother.... he decided not to come... havent seen him since two weeks after my dad died... so my sister called him and yelled and now i swear im never gunna see him. i hate christmas ( Read more... )

So this weekend i went to ohio. it was really really great! i got to spend time with my cousin dan! i love him, hes my favorite cousin... on my grandpas side lol we just chilled and talked. then i got to spend time with my favorite cousin on my gradmas side, cory! he took me to Sheetz, which is a gas station and a cafe and a place to get food all ( Read more... )

i feel cold and empty inside... im really sick of being lonely, its just no fun being single n e more but according to my horoscope Allow events to take their course, especially when it comes to your love life. You can't force things to happen -- and if you did, disaster would likely ensue. Be patient and enjoy the ride.

fuck that shit, i never ( Read more... )

i guess its kinda funny, how quickly u can go from a glimpse of happiness to an isolated darkness. im naive this we all know... but i never thought that i could be this naive. its not like this thing hasnt happened to me b 4 but this time i think it sucks the most. so back to depression... but acting happy and forcing fake smiles to the world. next ( Read more... )

Im excited and happy at the same time, i also know that in time this will slowly begin to fade, but for some reason i seem to be smiling right now, and for a SPLIT second i meant it. that second that i meant it was the first time i have smiled in months, even for that slpit second, it was great. i hope it lasts

The anticipation for tomorrow is endless, but as i sit here and wonder about the constant disappointments that can only come from my endevers, i realize that its worth the chance. whats that point of being sad if u cant live your life. but then again whats the point of happiness, if inside your full of disappointments. my curiosity for the night ( Read more... )

yea happy thanksgiving unfortunatly i hated it... i didnt want to get out of bed but my mom made me in which i think i drank 2 bottles of wine just to pass the time, which thats ok cuz last thanksgiving i helped my dad drink 4 bottles lol but im bored and i hate the holidays.

on a happier note im really looking forward to this weekend! im really ( Read more... )

ok i am updating merely becuz cassie told me 2 lol. ok

so lets see.... schools good grades were great 5 A's and 1 B damned Lit for Teens. as for work. its ok, but i need a raise and im the only one ho hasnt gotten one yet. Christmas is coming up and i have to buy Family and Lauren and Melissa and Dani and Alyssa gifts. the crew minus alyssa. i ( Read more... )

i dont get it, everytime i like and or am attracted to a guy it turns out for the worst. see this is why... i have liked so many guys and been crushed, that seriously i cant do it n e more... i just seriously dont like n e one, i cant, i dont "feel" n e thing for them. this is y i DONT do relationships. i guess i hold myself back from getting hurt ( Read more... )

FIRSTS:
1. First best friend: real friend: Brittni Grunow
2. First car: Aspire
3. First real kiss: David was my first kiss but ill be honest, i havent had a REAL kiss from someone on a mutual emotion as me.
5. First self purchased album: Brittney Spears
6. First funeral: my dad :(
7. First pet: dog, spike
8. First piercing/tattoos: Ears
10. First enemy: ( Read more... )