note to self: none of your bread is fresh and you own next to know vegetables. it's about time to apologize to maureen for that fight you had about her atkins diet 5 years ago.

also, i would like to note that my return to chicago will involve many-a-nights honing my haiku and crossword skills at the local waterholes, drinking until someone takes pity on me and gives me their final jukebox choice or asks for a blow job. it's like a mirror image of myself two years ago except with better credit and a weed habit.

apparently, when i lived in prague, at least every saturday night i would pass a giant statue of king wenceslas mounted upon an upside down dead, hanging horse. i never noticed it. i feel like that's kind of like my life right now. i'm just not sure if i'm myself, king wenceslas or the dead horse. i'm definitely pwned though.

this is what's up in MY world ( Read more... )

i just ate a smoked oyster that was presumably purchased at the dollar store. it looks vile and its taste runs along the same line. there's a 50/50 chance i will get food poisoning now. the chances are even because it was probably packed in so many preservatives, its safety is probably at par with other tinned fish like sardines, tuna, salmon, ( Read more... )

last night i thought about how maryam was the one who got me to get this journal. since high school, i had been using diaryland and freshman year maryam was like OMFG u got 2 git on teh interwebz. and i was like OH NOES i dont liek undrstend? and then i made this journal. i really don't know if i can say this has bettered or worsened my life, but i ( Read more... )

p.s. i also ate chocolate cake, because you know what? i'm worth it.

dear livejournal ( Read more... )

i am most unlucky in love and in life. i am also unlucky at casino games and lost $20 one time. i am a shape shifter. i have been a cat and a fly. today i am a doormat. tomorrow, a sheep. next week, a hermit and the following week, i am uncertain. for the past several months i have been a chump and i foresee a continuous trend in the future.

i can't sleep and my stomach hurts and i have to pee but i'm too lazy to move. i slept all day and then woke up to realize that netflix sent me the wrong disc of the wire. i kind of get it, but i still have to wait until monday to re-watch all of the first disc and then wait until mid-week to see what has happened since disc 2. the break of ( Read more... )