another occasion for random thoughts

[carolynsinger]

When I walked to the Fenway 13 to see a movie tonight, I passed the first place I lived in Boston, and the first view I had of my new city. Looking back, I think I was looking for answers of some kind. I was a lot like Belle in Beauty and the Beast... I wanted something more than the "provincial life" of Ashland, OH. I had gone to Albion College

Comments

[bassclefchick]

I think I'll get a dog. At least you can leave them at a kennel if you need a break.
Love you.

[morley]

You said it. I think you pretty effectively summed up Ashland. And east coasters in general I feel like are just more honest. People say NJ is rude...and, well, they are sort of, but not intentionally. They just say what they think. I'd take bluntness over fake politeness any day.

As for kids, you nailed it sister. I feel very similarly. I'm waiting, I'm not sold on the idea, and I've got something else I want to do before I'll consider kids.

But it's a tough day when you've been schooled in feminist thought and you're suddenly in the real world, and seeing all the things that still work against women. Policies, sure, but the most subtle things too, like certain expectations and pressures and the gendered roles that we inevitably find ourselves falling into...it's kind of sickening.

[carolynsinger]

Heh. They're all at BalloonFest being frienemies over elephant ears and Miller Lite right now.

[divo326]

As a feminist scholar of the Bible and theology, I can't help but see the whole enterprise as more of the same crap we find in the Bible, men trying to control women's reproduction and sexuality. In a lot of ways, I see that we're not free of that baloney (abortion debate, anyone?) and I figure it's best not to have kids at all. Think about it: I can't be co-opted into the male agenda, taken advantage of, or sabotaged if I don't give anyone the chance to even think about getting their sticky fingers on my fertility. Better to completely deny them the opportunity to control me.

You seem to imply that having babies is anti-feminist. This seems backward to me. Being forced to have babies is anti-feminist, for sure, but it seems to me that being forced not to is as well. My understanding of feminism is that women should be able to make their own choices about their lifestyle, rather than conforming to either the "male agenda" or the "feminist agenda."

[carolynsinger]

Divo! I haven't heard from you in forever! It's good to know you're still here. :o)

You're right, feminism is about claiming the power to make our own choices. I guess what I have a hard time with is that if I decide to have kids, as soon as I go off birth control, I'm taking a lot of risks. The male redactors of the Hebrew Bible took for granted that women were property. In so many ways, we haven't come that far... as soon as I have a kid, I'm vulnerable to having my time and energy exploited. People around me who believe the biblical writers' perspective on women will feel free to stuff me into a maternal role and to ignore the many other facets of my personality and personhood... I'll be devalued.

I guess I'm afraid that if I become a mom, people will stop seeing me as a leader. I'll lose the respect and authority needed to assume the pastoral role, and all that I worked for toward my career will be wasted.

[sveeb]

Be fair. People didn't sell Sarah Palin short on her leadership qualities because she was a mom, they sold her short on her leadership qualities because she was underqualified, underprepared, and unintelligible.

[carolynsinger]

I didn't say anything about Palin. I was speaking from my personal experience of watching women's time and energy being taken advantage of and women's concerns being dismissed. The sentiments I heard daily in rural Ohio are laughable to my new friends in Cambridge. No one seems to believe women are actually treated that way where I'm from. It's hard to unlearn hard lessons.