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[championbrooder]

Up the stairs I went to my room, where I knew Willow would be with Connor. I hoped she was willing to talk to me. Today wasn't the greatest of days in our relationship and I'm sure she wasn't going to be thrilled at what I needed to tell her about Lorne and Pylea. I know I wasn't excited about going back to Pylea after last time. Maybe I should go

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[yammerer_willow]

Taking care of Connor has helped me reevaluate my life, atleast in part. I know that what I did was wrong and that I will never be the same, I will forever be a murderer, no matter if the evil lawyer deserved it. I remember what Buffy used to say and it all made sense now, I took matters into my own hands, was her judge, jury, and exicutioner and that wasn't my place. Not that she would ever be prosecuted for her crimes, but it still wasn't my place.

I heard Angel come in, part of me wanted to tell him to leave me alone, the other part of me wanted to curl up in his arms and just cry, and then there is another part of me that wanted to be on the defensive and question his intentions of coming in the room. In the end, none of those parts of me won out, simply because he started talking before they had a chance.

"What happened?" I asked not really wanting an answer and for that matter, we couldn't talk in here, Connor was asleep. "Not here" I said ushering him out of Connor's part of the suite and into our part. "Now, what

[championbrooder]

She pulled me into our part of suite, away from a sleeping Connor, and then wanted to know what happened.

"Lorne has decided to go to Pylea. I just talked to Fred and Gunn, and obviously Fred's not going, but Gunn's still deciding. I was wondering if you wanted to go with us. We could probably use your magicks there, if it works there, that is."

I wasn't sure she was up to even trying to use her magicks right now, but it couldn't hurt to ask, even though I hated to ask her.

"Hopefully, it will be over quickly, and you and I can then work on things. I'm not very enthusiastic about it, but Lorne is my friend and I can't let him go there with just Kathy and Groo with him."

[yammerer_willow]

"I--I can't Angel" I couldn't believe after what happened he would even ask me to use magicks again. I planned on never using them again, it was just too much, just too much.

"Why are you asking me to do this after what happened?" I finally asked my emotions all over the place, one step from walking away again. "For the record Angel, I am not using magicks again...its just too much, and I can't control it."

[championbrooder]

"I understand that. I'm sorry, I really didn't want too ask, but I felt I had to. I didn't really think you'd say yes."

I paused for a moment, not sure I should say what I was going to say next. But I had to say it. "You will have to get over this fear and eventually use the magicks again, Willow. They're a part of you that you can't ignore. But that doesn't mean you have to use them right now."

I looked at her, so beautiful and good, and I wished I could make her see what I see. I hated that she was so unsure of herself, scared to go back to doing magic again. That would take a lot more time.

"Just, look after Connor for me. We shouldn't be long, I'm sure Lorne's not planning to stay there too long. Look after him and...well, if something happens to me, not that it will but I have to plan ahead, take care of Connor. I trust you with his life."