Why the bloody hell is nobody ever on AIM when I am? WANKERS! Of course, many of you may be at the Oscar after-parties. I really should have joined that Oscar poll someone had going on here because I guessed ALL of the winners. Must everything be so predictable? I found my plunger gun which Helena had cruelly hidden from me and have resumed my ( Read more... )

Have snuck into Trent's office to make an update. This is one HELL of a party and it's not even midnight yet. The official "un-masking" won't be occuring until later, so I have no bloody idea who everyone is. I'm pretty sure that Ms. Amos is the one sprinkling fairy dust on everyone....and I think Trent is Gene Simmons. I know Helena is Countess ( Read more... )

That's right, your humble author is currently en route to New Orleans for Trent's masquerade ball. The in-flight movie is "Love Actually". A damn good film (even if I wasn't in it), but now I have a dilemma. Should I waste my paltry six peanuts throwing them at Firth, Grant, or Neeson? I could throw 2 each at all three, but then I wouldn't be ( Read more... )

I'm not sure if I'm hung over or still drunk. It's coming in waves. Last night, Pearce and I hit the pubs. We got delightfully pissed, spent exhorbitant amounts of money, and were slapped by strippers. Not necessarily in that order. Or maybe it was. To be honest, I can't really remember. All I do know is that I woke up at his flat on the ( Read more... )

Today I was fortunate enough to escort the beautiful Ms. Thompson to lunch. As most of you know, not only is she an incredible actress, but she is also a writer. She was telling me about the new project she is working on which will include Firth. "Love Actually" was one of the best pictures of the year, in my opinon, and it is certainly not ( Read more... )

I'm still in London. My stay has been extended indefinitely as Helena has been gracious enough to offer me her guest room for as long as I have need of it. We've been having quite the time. I can't believe we allowed so much time to elapse without getting together. We made "Lady Jane" when we were both very young and new to film. In other ( Read more... )

MEMORANDUM

TO: EVERYONE
FROM: Mr. Elwes

SUBJECT: Name change

From henceforward, colin_firth shall be known as Colin-Poo.

Sincerely,
Mr. Elwes

I am in London with helenaboncarter. We've been watching satellite tele all evening and were very excited when we came upon "9 1/2 Weeks". The Mickey Rourke/Kim Basinger sado-masochistic love story creme de la creme. ( Read more... )

I like watching Court TV. I love it when they use the luminol. You KNOW they're gonna catch the bastard when they use the luminol! I think I would have made a damn good investigator. If I didn't faint at the sight of real blood and wasn't such a nancyboy in general I'd have kicked ASS in criminal justice. But instead, I just played one on TV ( Read more... )

I had my first surfing lesson today and it went swimmingly. A bad pun, and yet it's literal because I spent more of my time swimming than on an actual board. Obviously, I survived, much to the disapointment of many of you (insert childish face complete with tongue sticking out and thumbs in ears HERE ( Read more... )

Firth signed on AIM, and signed off as soon as he saw me. Quite alright, Colin! I am quite used to people walking away from me mid-conversation...

(...and I killed them all.)

Oh, he blamed it on his computer. A likely story!