I am not even out of school yet and I am already tired of the nursing stereotypes. So mad about it that I want to scream or cry or hurt the next person who says something ignorant to me.  I am tired of people telling me my future consists of wiping butts. Ok, yeah, we do that. We clean up and take care of the hygiene of people who are otherwise ( Read more... )

Heading back to school one last time. It feels really strange. Really, really strange. as usual, song lyrics are summing up my life. especially the goo goo dolls.

and I'm not sure where I belong
nowhere's home and I'm all wrong

I have been thinking about this a lot. Where the hell do I belong? I always said I don't want to get stuck in Oyster Bay for ( Read more... )

Well it's been quite a while since I lifted my head
And I'm sure the light will hurt my eyes
I see the way that I been spendin' my days
And reality has caught me by surprise

I was dreamin' of tomorrow so I sacrificed today
And it sure was a grand waste of time
And despite all the truth that's been thrown in my face
I just can't get you out of my ( Read more... )

 Today's one of those really good days, when I get the really good feeling of being loved. You see, I stayed on campus for Easter. This is the first time ever I haven't been home for easter and I was a little afraid of it at first. My friend asked me to be his confirmation sponsor so I had to be here for the Easter vigil, so I figured I might as ( Read more... )

It looks like it could be a lost cause. But maybe it isn't. I HAVE to believe it won't be this way forever. Flowers push through concrete, don't they? Even if there's the tiniest opportunity, something can happen. It's my job to let that opportunity happen. And I'm going to start taking that job seriously.

 soon it's gonna rain, I can feel it
soon it's gonna rain, I can tell
soon it's gonna rain, what'll we do with you?

thought of this song while trying to think of an away message...it is gonna rain tomorrow and that's okay with me bc I have a shit ton of work to do and I'm not in a very good mood right now. I think it's just because I'm overtired. But ( Read more... )

 I was just reading old entries from the past few weeks and realizing how depressing they were, and I guess I just want to let you guys know - I'm OK. I think I make stuff out to be worse in my head than it actually is, so yeah, I am ok. I need to learn to chill out and relax and not stand in my own way. But I am OK. And I will be OK.

the problem with telling someone your deep dark secrets is that you can never get them back, no matter what. they're out there and they're floating in the awkward space between you and no matter how much you don't want to know or deal with them or the person they're out there haunting you.

why am i on livejournal when i need to be studying

I think that  I might be starting to learn an important lesson. Please note - starting to learn - not learned. If you sweat the small stuff, you have no energy left when the big stuff actually comes along.  
so hey - chill out, kid.

 lately, when people ask me if I'm okay, I say one of two things. If it's someone I really don't feel like talking to I say "yeah, I'm fine" which isn't really true. if it's a close friend i say "I will be." but I don't know if that's true anymore either...I really don't. I don't mean to sound dramatic or anything but I really just don't know what ( Read more... )