Now what do I do?

May 17, 2007 17:42

I really am struggling at coping with teenagers ( Read more... )

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onyxflame May 17 2007, 17:31:49 UTC
I'd do the same thing my mom does when I'm playing a video game. I'd tell them ok, after you get done with this game you need to do x, y, and z. (Of course if it's an actual video game involved, you say "after you get done with this level/die/kill that boss/whatever" instead. Gamers *really* appreciate stuff like that, and will often do stuff they wouldn't do otherwise because someone actually bothered to appreciate that they're in the middle of something they think is important.)

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catrinp May 17 2007, 22:00:32 UTC
Up until last night (Thanks to the mysterious informer) I did. I asked for a task to be done and let the gamer finish that level.

I just got totally and utterly frustrated when that game not only finished that level but started the next. There always seemed to be a reason, and excuse.

Now I played fair, so I expected to receive fairness in return.

But now, Gamers can return the DS Games, at least, after the task is completed satisfactorily.

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empath_1111 May 17 2007, 22:09:34 UTC
so the difference for you is not *that* they disobeyed you but *how* they disobeyed you? :-p I try to pick and choose my battles based on necessity. Do I want to fight over every detail, or just the important ones? And at what point are they required to police themselves? The most effective tool my hubby and I ever used with our kids was The Family Meeting, held once a week, where we brought up such issues, like playing instead of homework, as well as any issues the boys had, and let them find a solution and a consequence for failure of that solution. We'd take votes if there disagreements and *all* (including parents) would have to follow the solution. We'd try it for a week, then come back and discuss the results and whether they needed tweaking. *shrug* I don't know if you were truely asking "what do I do" or making a funny :-) but that is what we used to lessen the police-action. for us, it worked beautifully. LOL

Meg

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catrinp May 18 2007, 02:43:20 UTC
I know. I did bad *hangs head*

I do hate the police action, the constant struggle to get then to do stuff I know they have to do. And I do occasionally let them discover themselve the consequence of failure.

Hubby and I always said we would be consistent when they were little, consistent with each other and over time. But now they are older, well they need to think a bit more for themselves.

A family meeting, organised rather than random, sound like a plan.

No to find the time :D

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