I’m really scared. I don’t want to write about me right now, but I’m forcing myself to. I’m trying to be professional, to carry on writing, but I’m really scared.

I failed. I tried to stop a terrible future, but my vote meant nothing.

Now people are screaming at me to do something, realizing just how terrible a future they may have chosen.

What do ( Read more... )

The last time I posted here, I was terrified, but I had hope.

Hope has been crushed, leaving only terror.

Never have I been this miserable over the holiday seasons. Never have I dreaded the future more.

I’ve tried so hard to be a positive voice, an uplifting voice on social media. In the spirit of this, I’m trying to hang onto hope. I’m trying to ( Read more... )

Will the future be terrifying or hopeful? Will we be safe or lose everything?

The world feels as unstable, as uncertain as it did during the pandemic.

Too many things have happened during my lifetime I’d rather read about than live through. I would have been happier, if they’d never happened.

I’m wishing for a happier, more prosperous future. I ( Read more... )

I just lost one of my muses.

I met Paula Wyant, a.k.a. P.T. Wyant years ago. When the first edition of Fairest was published in 2016, she came to its release party.

I decided to have my deceased dwarf from Fairest, Quartz, host this particular Facebook party. Paula was so tickled by him; she convinced me (and Quartz) that Quartz wasn’t dead. He got ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just want to curl in a ball and hide from the world. I try to distract myself from it; wrap myself up in a Christmas carol and a game of solitaire.

I can be my own worst enemy at such moments. My words, my prose solidifies inside me, around me; a stillness, an armour I’m uncertain how to remove.

Writing terrifies me, yet it is one of ( Read more... )

My Goodreads Reading Challenge list is a mess. It’s listed me as reading the same book twice or three times when I’ve only read it once or I haven’t finished it.

Looking at that list is like beholding a spectral mess I constantly see, but I cannot clean up. Any actual reading progress is obscured by it.

I have made progress. I’m fulfilling the ( Read more... )

I write this blog, trying to banish the feeling of being a naughty child who hasn’t done her homework.

I remind myself that I’ve been working hard. It’s not wrong to enjoy my work. One of my life long goals is to be productive and enjoy myself being productive.

Blogs at the Cauldron of Eternal Inspiration at inspirationcauldron.wordpress.com have ( Read more... )

Pride Month is about to begin. I get a tiny thrill of joy simply thinking that it’s Pride Month. This is a gift social media gave me, for I only became aware of this month’s special significance, when I connected online via Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, and Goodreads.

The weather is warming up. I experienced a resurgence of youth, brought on by ( Read more... )

If I’ve got an enemy to any kind of productivity of my part, it’s sinus headaches. Once one gets its talons into my head, growing increasingly painful, I can only lay down with an ice pack and wait it out.

Alcohol aggravates the pain along with crowds. Any kind of enclosed space with too many many people and too many warm bodies can bring them. Too ( Read more... )

This changing weather reminds me of my own body in its contradictions. I’m hot when my skin feels cold. I’m sweating when I’m chilled.

No, I don’t have a fever. Welcome to perimenopause.

I’ve made changes to try to accomodate my body. I’m eating and drinking less. I’m exercising more. New reservoirs of energy are opening up as a result.

I’ve got ( Read more... )