My heart is still bleeding for Nick ( Read more... )

... Nick commented on my last post. Some of his few last words ever inscribed over the Internet will now be eternally connected to my livejournal. Why was he looking at it after so many years? I'll never know but that's okay. I will always love him ( Read more... )

 I finally saw Nick again and had sex with him that night, Friday December 17th. It meant so much and was so surreal to me that I cried after. The whole time he seemed vacant though and didn't seem to share the passion that has building up in me for the longest time. Maybe it's because he's found better in life, or maybe it is only because I ( Read more... )

 I thus far haven't done dope since my birthday, so that's a great thing. I got over my last painful withdrawals the day before my birthday. I don't know what it is, but I feel like my withdrawals have been getting worse as my addiction has progressed. Since being in college, I have still been on dope on and off, with 1-2 week opiate or benzo ( Read more... )

 "You are a wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." -Oscar Wilde ( Read more... )

The past month has been awesome. I've established an awesome friends group, done well and have attended all my classes, and over a series of epiphanies, decided to change my major to Public Relations. I got off of 3 people's shit lists and have been doing my best to be a responsible, mature adult. I've grown a lot this month. 
Last week sometime I ( Read more... )

 Stu broke my heart.

 my body is sinking into an undertow of relaxation. tomorrow is my move-in day to western and I should really sleep, but it's difficult with so many dynamic emotions running through my tranquil actuality.

I just got back from a 6 day, 5 night retreat to Kalamazoo. I stayed with Stu and had an amazing time. We did a lotta different stuff and I fall more for him every day. I'm so glad we started talking again this summer. He's a really positive influence on me, in a matter similar to but even more positive, exclusive and special than my relationships ( Read more... )

A lot has changed! I took a long much needed vacation, and now I have been working all week and hangin out in Farmington. 3 days at Western, 4 days in the U.P, 3 days at my dad's Lake Michigan lakehouse, 2 days at a State Park Campground off Lake Michigan, then 3 days at Western. Things have been awesome for me. I started chillen with Stu again. I ( Read more... )