Where does it say...
...that I have to like or accept my parent's divorce and my mother's subsequent dating?
No. Where.
Yesterday my mother and I were emailing all day, setting up times for her to watch JC in the upcoming weeks. She’s watching her this Saturday while John and I have dinner with Leon and possibly Heidi and Jeff if they’re back from Indiana in time. She’s watching her on the 14th while we go to dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and see “The Matrix: Revolutions.” She’s watching her on Dec. 4th while we go watch the Blues PUMMEL the Red Wings.
Anyway, in the midst of this she mentions to me that she told her friend Mike that she’d be at my house this weekend watching Jules. Mike lives near me. She asked if he’d like to stop by and see Julia. Mike apparently “misses” her, though...why I have no idea.
My mother and Mike became friends a long time ago when they were both married to other people. Mike’s wife died of cancer a year and a half ago. Since then his relationship with my mother has intensified, much to the displeasure of myself, my sister, our husbands, and my father. My parents divorced this past March after thirty years of marriage. You will never convince me Mike had nothing to do with that, though my mother swears they’re just friends.
Whatever.
Anyway, in the email my mother then goes on to say that Mike won’t come over to see Julia because he’s uncomfortable since he knows we, meaning my sister and I and our husbands, don’t like him. What she tells me sounds like he’s feeding her the biggest sob story ever. She goes on to tell me that we’re being unreasonable to expect her to never go out or date and that she feels under attack when she mentions she’s going out and we ask if it’s a date. Would WE like it if WE were single and SHE was asking us about potential dates? Oh no...she’d NEVER do that.
*blinks*
That is complete bullshit, but it’s also beside the point.
This stemmed into a huge argument while I was on my way home yesterday. Yes, Leon, on my CELL PHONE and DRIVING AT NIGHT! *dances* I have never in my life stated that I don’t like her friend Mike. I do not like their relationship, but he as a person doesn’t bother me. My sister and our husbands are a different story, they can’t stand him, but that wasn’t my fight. It annoys the hell out of me that I think he’s using guilt to make my mother almost have to choose between us.
She then mentions to me that we go out of our way to not include Mike in things. I asked her like what, at this point almost at a loss for words. I barely know him, why would I have anything to deliberately exclude him from?! She says the BBQ J and I had in July. We made it very clear he wasn’t invited, but we invited him the year before. I bit my tongue to prevent me from screaming “We didn’t invite him last year either! YOU DID!” Instead I told her that the reason he wasn’t invited, aside from John threatening to kick his ass if he stepped foot in our yard, is because he makes my father extremely uncomfortable. Which is true.
I told her that my father’s feelings will ALWAYS come before Mike’s, or any of her friends, and if he didn’t like it, too bad. If he wants to choose to believe I don’t like him, fine. But he needs to get over this, as does she. I accept that at some point my mother will date. I guess I figured she’d take a little more time than eight months, but okay, maybe not.
I will deal with that when the time comes. But this Mike thing...it’s just out of control. If my sister and I don’t fawn over him, he gets his feelings hurt, and he whines about it to my mother, who naturally takes his side and suddenly Rebecca and I are the bad guys. ...Girls. You get it.
Grrr....
And on another note...I wasn’t going to share this, but after thinking about it I thought nikkikat might like to know. I know you were a little uneasy about this stuff, but that talking to someone has really helped. You’re not alone!
Tonight I started taking again the Serafem my OB-GYN prescribed for me after Julia was born and I was such a mess with the post-partum depression I'd casually laughed at before Jules arrived. For weeks, maybe even months, I've been feeling more and more out of control, more out of whack. Like my sanity is just holding on by a thread.
I'm up, I'm down. There's no gray area, no middle ground. And I change moods with the blink of an eye, on which more than one person has commented.
I'm tired of feeling like this, so irrational, so on edge.
So...back on the anti-anxiety drugs. It worked very well last time. John said I was more like myself in the first 24-48 hours than he'd seen me since Julia arrived. So here's hoping.
I'm a hypocrite when it comes to this kind of thing. If it was anyone else I'd be rallying behind their decision to take a step at making themselves feel better. But when it comes to me, I hate it. I hate being dependant on something, a drug, no matter how low the dose, to make me feel better. I think I should be able to handle everything, to deal with it all as it comes, and admitting that I just can't sometimes makes me crazy.
Wish me sanity.
What Irrational Number Are You?
You are √2
You are in good company, many other square roots are also irrational numbers. Just by being a square root you have been branded a radical. You are considered very attractive, especially by Europeans (at least on paper.)
You fear that a relationship with another √2 may somehow end up complex and ultimately imaginary. In reality, only another √2 will make you whole.
Your lucky number is approximately 1.41421356Shiny LemurStraif's Blog
No. Where.
Yesterday my mother and I were emailing all day, setting up times for her to watch JC in the upcoming weeks. She’s watching her this Saturday while John and I have dinner with Leon and possibly Heidi and Jeff if they’re back from Indiana in time. She’s watching her on the 14th while we go to dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and see “The Matrix: Revolutions.” She’s watching her on Dec. 4th while we go watch the Blues PUMMEL the Red Wings.
Anyway, in the midst of this she mentions to me that she told her friend Mike that she’d be at my house this weekend watching Jules. Mike lives near me. She asked if he’d like to stop by and see Julia. Mike apparently “misses” her, though...why I have no idea.
My mother and Mike became friends a long time ago when they were both married to other people. Mike’s wife died of cancer a year and a half ago. Since then his relationship with my mother has intensified, much to the displeasure of myself, my sister, our husbands, and my father. My parents divorced this past March after thirty years of marriage. You will never convince me Mike had nothing to do with that, though my mother swears they’re just friends.
Whatever.
Anyway, in the email my mother then goes on to say that Mike won’t come over to see Julia because he’s uncomfortable since he knows we, meaning my sister and I and our husbands, don’t like him. What she tells me sounds like he’s feeding her the biggest sob story ever. She goes on to tell me that we’re being unreasonable to expect her to never go out or date and that she feels under attack when she mentions she’s going out and we ask if it’s a date. Would WE like it if WE were single and SHE was asking us about potential dates? Oh no...she’d NEVER do that.
*blinks*
That is complete bullshit, but it’s also beside the point.
This stemmed into a huge argument while I was on my way home yesterday. Yes, Leon, on my CELL PHONE and DRIVING AT NIGHT! *dances* I have never in my life stated that I don’t like her friend Mike. I do not like their relationship, but he as a person doesn’t bother me. My sister and our husbands are a different story, they can’t stand him, but that wasn’t my fight. It annoys the hell out of me that I think he’s using guilt to make my mother almost have to choose between us.
She then mentions to me that we go out of our way to not include Mike in things. I asked her like what, at this point almost at a loss for words. I barely know him, why would I have anything to deliberately exclude him from?! She says the BBQ J and I had in July. We made it very clear he wasn’t invited, but we invited him the year before. I bit my tongue to prevent me from screaming “We didn’t invite him last year either! YOU DID!” Instead I told her that the reason he wasn’t invited, aside from John threatening to kick his ass if he stepped foot in our yard, is because he makes my father extremely uncomfortable. Which is true.
I told her that my father’s feelings will ALWAYS come before Mike’s, or any of her friends, and if he didn’t like it, too bad. If he wants to choose to believe I don’t like him, fine. But he needs to get over this, as does she. I accept that at some point my mother will date. I guess I figured she’d take a little more time than eight months, but okay, maybe not.
I will deal with that when the time comes. But this Mike thing...it’s just out of control. If my sister and I don’t fawn over him, he gets his feelings hurt, and he whines about it to my mother, who naturally takes his side and suddenly Rebecca and I are the bad guys. ...Girls. You get it.
Grrr....
And on another note...I wasn’t going to share this, but after thinking about it I thought nikkikat might like to know. I know you were a little uneasy about this stuff, but that talking to someone has really helped. You’re not alone!
Tonight I started taking again the Serafem my OB-GYN prescribed for me after Julia was born and I was such a mess with the post-partum depression I'd casually laughed at before Jules arrived. For weeks, maybe even months, I've been feeling more and more out of control, more out of whack. Like my sanity is just holding on by a thread.
I'm up, I'm down. There's no gray area, no middle ground. And I change moods with the blink of an eye, on which more than one person has commented.
I'm tired of feeling like this, so irrational, so on edge.
So...back on the anti-anxiety drugs. It worked very well last time. John said I was more like myself in the first 24-48 hours than he'd seen me since Julia arrived. So here's hoping.
I'm a hypocrite when it comes to this kind of thing. If it was anyone else I'd be rallying behind their decision to take a step at making themselves feel better. But when it comes to me, I hate it. I hate being dependant on something, a drug, no matter how low the dose, to make me feel better. I think I should be able to handle everything, to deal with it all as it comes, and admitting that I just can't sometimes makes me crazy.
Wish me sanity.
What Irrational Number Are You?
You are √2
You are in good company, many other square roots are also irrational numbers. Just by being a square root you have been branded a radical. You are considered very attractive, especially by Europeans (at least on paper.)
You fear that a relationship with another √2 may somehow end up complex and ultimately imaginary. In reality, only another √2 will make you whole.
Your lucky number is approximately 1.41421356Shiny LemurStraif's Blog