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raecarson February 5 2011, 16:55:23 UTC
The Dallas Douchebags? The Dallas Misogynists? (I like the Dallas Slicks, tho...)

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ccfinlay February 5 2011, 17:10:00 UTC
They become famous for letting the ball slip through their fingers.

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woolysw February 5 2011, 17:35:11 UTC
Well, technically it's a DFW regional thing, since the old stadium was in Irving and the new stadium is in Arlington, but the "DFW Cowboys" (or whatever) doesn't quite have the same ring.

Actually, cowboys ride down the streets of Fort Worth every day, herding longhorns for the tourists. It happens just north of downtown in the Stock Yards, which today is a tourist location and not really stock yards anymore.

And ignoring the evening soap 'Dallas' (shudder), in terms of industry the DFW area is seriously diversified, with finance, telco, and defense industries. Which has helped us considerably the past couple of recessions.

So the "DFW Bankers"? "DFW Spreadsheets"? "DFW Phones"? "DFW Defenders"?

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raecarson February 5 2011, 17:04:50 UTC
I'd like to suggest the San Francisco Consultants.

Did you know that in the city of San Francisco, consultants outnumber gold prospecting 49ers by approximately eleventy kajillion to zero?

And no one is more badass than the Consultant. He doesn't bother with pansy-ass locker room speeches--he has a motivational system. He finds holes in offensive strategy like a Lombardi winner on 'roids. The Consultant will wipe the field with your outdated spread option and get paid seven figures to do it. Afterward, you'll thank him.

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ccfinlay February 5 2011, 17:07:56 UTC
Awesome!

And it's the first team whose cheerleaders show up dressed in business casual.

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wordweaverlynn February 5 2011, 18:46:00 UTC
Clearly this is a two-genius marriage.

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ccfinlay February 11 2011, 16:54:52 UTC
That's what she said!

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asatomuraki February 5 2011, 17:35:43 UTC
Oh, that is wonderful! Well done.

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ccfinlay February 11 2011, 16:55:24 UTC
Thanks!

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elysdir February 5 2011, 19:16:08 UTC
For Seattle, why not go all the way and call them the Seattle Starbucks?

If the coffee company threatens to sue, the team could (a) offer a business partnership, (b) claim to be named after the Moby Dick character (or the BSG character), and/or (c) claim to be named after the famed whaling family.

...I was going to suggest Seattle Buckstars, but I guess that runs too much risk of confusion with the Bucks.

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ccfinlay February 11 2011, 17:08:50 UTC
For Buckstars I don't think the main problem is confusion with the Bucks as much as it is the obscene rhyming nicknames that opponents and disgrunted fans would immediately thrust upon the team.

With Starbucks, sponsorship would be the way to go. Unless it gave us cheerleading outfits that looked like giant coffee cups with living logos...

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vampyrichamster February 6 2011, 01:00:34 UTC
I don't even pretend to understand American football, but your post made me understand Vital Sports Facts(tm). Thank you, sir.

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ccfinlay February 11 2011, 16:54:16 UTC
Sorry it's taken me a week to reply, but I'm glad I was able to help. Anything to help you acclimate to America.

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