Over a year, huh?. I completely forgot about this ( Read more... )

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT ( Read more... )

Fuck Australia. I found something better to do, and it's free. I got mail yesterday from Cornell University. Apparently, Cornell selected me as one of 6 incoming freshman to participate in a program this summer at the Shoals Marine Laboratory in New Hampshire, which just happens to be the best state in the entire union, partly because it has the ( Read more... )

Since last we spoke, Umphrey's McGee(!), The Disco Biscuits(!), Les Claypool(!), Oyterhead(!), Sonic Youth, Common(?), Tortured Soul(?), and Matt Costa(?) have been added to the Bonnaroo lineup ( Read more... )

I am going to Bonnaroo this year, and it is going to be amazing ( Read more... )

Oh, I, uh, almost got killed today...by a gang of bikers. Yeah. It's twice as funny as it sounds ( Read more... )

It has recently come to my attention that part of Antarctica remains unclaimed. Carly and I are mounting separate expeditions to claim this valuable piece of land, valuable because of its vast tracts of ice, ice that could easily be harvested to fuel the growing demand for sno-cones. I suspect that my expedition will be the more successful of the ( Read more... )

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If, by some strange turn of events, I become the "king of all I can see," and I find myself unable to reach a jar of peaches in one of my royal cabinets, placed there, no doubt, by one of my taller servants, I think that, in order to get the peaches down, I would order all of my subjects to line up from shortest to tallest (A very Yertle-esque ( Read more... )

I'm leaving for Colorado, which is a Spanish contraction of the phrase "calor advertisemento," which means "hot advertisement."*

*Kindly ignore the fact that the Spanish word for "advertisement" is "anuncio," as well as that, technically, it would have to be "advertisemento color" to make sense. I my rules make own for language. Get off my case,