I think hope is the only thing keeping me alive. The hope that I can learn to live in the moment and/or be immersed in my surroundings. The hope that I can get emotionally involved and motivated to pursue goals, but in a fulfilling way ( Read more... )

My hard drive is showing all the classic signs of it being about to give up the ghost. So if I disappear suddenly, that's why.

I look back on things I wrote like this and don't even recognize myself. Whether that's because of my being amped up on medicine at the time, or more in touch with my subconscious, or more open, or a combination, I don't know ( Read more... )

My christmas shopping has gone swimmingly, as a snobby movie exec might say. Seriously, I got like 11 presents in 2 hours. My mom was even commenting on how amazed she was that every place I went to had what I wanted ( Read more... )

Nothing's real ( Read more... )

Oof ( Read more... )

The universe is what is
Inside me is what isn't
The two meet at my skin
It's a wonder I isn't dizzy.

I went to my second of the three meetings required to get medication. The third meeting they couldn't get me into until February 6th ( Read more... )

When I finished writing my book, I decided to reward myself by checking out/renting all the Star Trek TNG movies and watching them in a row. I'd already seen Generations, First Contact, and Insurrection, but watched them again. I hadn't seen Nemesis yet, so watched it for the first (and second) time today. Having now watched them all, I've come to ( Read more... )

I'm still trying to decide what the different ways of interacting with people are. My whole life I've always done just one - make people laugh to get emotional pleasure. It's the purposeful mode - I'm talking to you to create a conversation that fulfills some needs in me.

( This is shit I should have been learning as a kid. )