demo's breathing in the air ( Read more... )

in the world as i know it, degradation is adaptation.
i can't wait to get wasted again.
oh, and new policy: if you can't love me, fuck me.

nobody deserves it, but until i have my vengeance, and vengeance i shall have in my own style and fashion, ill refuse to be good.

Alcoholism ( Read more... )

Since I officially gave up on life, I have been a consistent drinker and by now, with all the brain damage, I feel the same whether I drank or not, except for a few side effects, but otherwise I'm generally balligerant, except if I'm sober usually I complain about not having a drink. I'm starting to see things out of the corner of my eyes, and at a ( Read more... )

...snaptomorrow ill suck in a cloud of my warm, red blood into a syringe of cold, clear evil - and push the mix right back in. i'll be hiding in the darkness and the dizzy noise in my head of drug induced delusions, with a girl that's desperately trying to comprehend my worthless complexity and trying to love me but feeling that her genuine effort ( Read more... )

Yesterday I got a job and Nikki called me and told me how much she loves and misses every aspect of me, it made me so happy I was singing songs and saying, "what a wonderful Saturday evening, I'm drinking this great bottle of wine, Nikki cares for me too and life seems better than drugs; it's such a pleasure to breathe tonight ( Read more... )

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The best damn way to get faded

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boston

Yesterday was my last day at work. I started at 7AM and finished at 2AM the following night. At that time we got paid in clean cash, which my dad kept to control me and force me to go to Almaty. As the client counted it out I came over to watch, and he told me to leave as this is 'adult matter'. "Joel - did you hire me? Because I spent the past ( Read more... )