Supernatural FIC: Slow Burn

[guardian_chaos]

Title: Slow Burn
Author: guardian_chaos 
Rating: PG-13 (mentions of injuries, some blood)
Words: 1000-ish
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Castiel
Spoilers: None, really. Takes place mid-season 6. :)
Genre: angst, character study
Author's Note: Partially inspired by a prompt given to me ages ago by joonscribble, who wanted to know if Castiel still searches for God.

Summary: The war

Comments

[joonscribble]

Such lovely images in this fic! Actually, to say "lovely" seems weird since so much of it is Castiel being in pain both emotionally and physically.

With effort, he shuts his eyes to the beauty around him so that he can focus on healing the damage within.

I feel like this sentence sort of sums up Castiel's entire existence in the last season. He's basically had to shut out the beauty of God's work and all that's around him because there's been so much damage he has to fix. It's like he can't just be and appreciate like he did before. No, he has to fix, cure, heal, and suffer. No wonder he's losing it.

He marvels at how he thirsts, even now, as an angel, “Are you still there?”

This somehow reminded me of that conversation Castiel had with Dean way back during Castiel's first season on the show when he told Dean he saw God everywhere he looked. In humans, in nature, etc. And now that's just gone here and he's reduced to having to actually ask because he can no longer feel God's presence and that's sort of heart-breaking. Actually,

[guardian_chaos]

Aw, thank you so much! I wanted an emo story to go with Castiel's headspace this season, heh. There's no hope in this story at all!! Which I like to think is somewhat telling of why Cas ends up doing what he does later in the season. And hey, emotional and physical pain in fanfic can so be lovely. *G*

I'd forgotten about that conversation! I think I'd enjoy re-watching season 4, just to see how much he's changed from then to now. Castiel's definitely not a static character.

And that's exactly what I wanted to be gotten from that last image!! I'm so happy you saw that. I don't think he even knows how badly he sometimes craves escape, especially when he's losing places to escape to. Maybe it's denial for the sake of sanity that's making him force himself into a mindset that doesn't let him see his more reckless actions.

I think we're beyond hugs now. You need super-concentrated TLC.

Hee! Yes, that's absolutely the solution we need here. :D

[lea_skye]

Sad and angsty, just the way I love Castiel.
Very nicely done, especially the ending. Thank you for sharing! Mem-ing. :)

[guardian_chaos]

Hee! Yeah, I like him that way, too. Of course, I also like it when he smiles, but some angst before that is great!

Thank you for commenting! :D

[vasiliki]

When he is fully healed, there is still pain in his chest, making it difficult to breathe, but he sees no cause for it.

My poor baby! :(

The wind touches his face, brightening the sensations of something cold slipping down his cheeks.

Oh, the day we see this in the show! Although a HUG is needed more, damnit!

Liked your fic! :)

[guardian_chaos]

I know! Poor Castiel has such a tragic life, heh. If this angel doesn't get any affection soon, It'll be awful!

Thanks for the comment. ^_^

[sgmajorshipper]

Congrats! Our team has recced you here at crack_impala.

[guardian_chaos]

Oh...oh, wow, I've followed that community for so long because it often offers the most amazing recs. Who recced me? I'm flabbergasted. I mean, goodness! I'm even on the second spot. That's just...wow! Thank you so much!!