"And I haven't had an honest conversation in weeks and irony rolls off my tongue much more easily and I don't think its mean, it just represents a chilling disconnect from reality. And nation building nation states are captured in the acetate or filtered through our heads through the flicker of the windows on our street as we're walking home. (As ( Read more... )

Reading some old stuff here; I used to have so much to try and say. Pretentious and horribly delightful as some of it was, at least I had desperately attempted to capture something. Lately I have nothing to say, no way to say it, and no way to find my way home. I don't feel like living, let alone writing. All I do is my best to escape thought ( Read more... )

All is well and I'm more than satisfied. It's funny how the second you cease to want something you end up finding it ten fold; life is ironically entertaining like that. I'm reading a really cool book, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. You should definitely check it out, it's about this guy who ends up in this crazy dream like set ( Read more... )

( oh fuck, not another pointless picture post )

So this one time I forgot where I was going because I was too busy thinking. Sometimes I think too much. Happy Holidays.

I just talked to my Mother and her husband whom she is currently divorcing went to where she is now living and assaulted her. One of my little brother's friends was also assaulted for trying to help her. He's locked up for the moment but I'm seriously concerned about what will happen next. The one thing that keeps running through my mind is that ( Read more... )

Remember making out at the hardcore shows; exhaustion from dancing creating real high on life moments, and in the darkness of the back of Girls Inc the hard floor was softer than the sweetest resting place. The sweat of my face acted like tears of relief and you asked if you could kiss me. Practically passed out perfection acquired before the ( Read more... )

"I hate these songs, I hate the words that the singer is singing to me.
I hate this melody, I hate this stupid fucking drum beat.
But I'm not gonna tell anyone what I'm really thinking about.
Keep the convorsations on the surface, just keep on smiling,
just keep on saying everythings gonna be alright, Its gonna be alright."

It's so fun to capture an intensity with words; the best part is when that intensity is a distant memory revived from the details you forgot to forget. It's so much easier to notice how crazy you were in retrospect, but damn, insanity is beautiful too sometimes. Anytime zeros and ones disguise emotions you're in for a trip. heh

So if it really mattered I would probably try a lot harder, I think.