I don’t know what to say anymore except I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been around for The Rabble or anything else. It is just easier for me not to put myself through hurting so bad every week. I will still visit everyone when invited but if I’m not called personally and invited I wont been there, not that I’m being catty, it’s just that I wont get ( Read more... )

With all of this resent wake up call to how precise and short life is I would think I would have nothing on my mind but that. Things must be really stressful for some one if they are still asking questions. Maybe this event sparked more questions for him, who knows. All that I know is I truly love this man or I would have never be doing what he has ( Read more... )

havn't been able to sleep... keep telling myself it has to be a bad dream but the stomachache and the feeling of incredible loss hasn't gone away...

i finaly had things going it the right direction and i blew it. i'm sutch a fuckup... i have never regreted anyhthing... but tonight. i wish i could trun back the pages. maybe to a point i was never in his life. never fall in love so that way i could have never hurt him. then again i would have been long dead before we even celibrated our one year ( Read more... )

It's amazing. it takes till your ready to kill your self do you reallize why you hert so bad and that you were blaming the wrong people. I blamed draven because i thought he was the cause of why i hurt but he was the fule. We seperated and i thought what have i done to make him so mad. i began to hate myself in every way. ,aybe it was my anger ( Read more... )

still sick... worse... bed...mmm comfy... i have class... CRAP! i might have to take the Depo shot again. the stress and my body trying to regulate my hormones after being off the shot is not working. I think it is making me feel worse... i know it is so bad for me... but i may not have a choice. maybe i can find a way to get the money... somehow.

i wasn't able to sleep much at all. i realize how much the stress is taking a toll on me. my throat blew up like a balloon again (the virus is back.) I feel like i want to stay in bed today but i have school. it's a motivator, not a great one, but it will suffice. besides i want to have a beer tonight at Monday night rabble at good old O'Brian's ( Read more... )

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1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought ( Read more... )

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