So for the past two weeks I've been juggleing three drifferent guys whom i all taught that maybe it could be more then sex, but NO Jayc and I are really cool friends waiting to see what the future holds which means he just wants to fuck me. Kevin flat out told me I'm just a fuck buddy cuz he's been single for three years and likes it that way. Then ( Read more... )

So things with Jayc are going good in a since. He says that i'm a really awsome person and that he doesn't want to ruin anything between us by rushng into a relationship so we are staying really cool friends and waiting to see how things go from there. I honestly like that idea i am turly okay with it. I'm not ready to have a relationship. but the ( Read more... )

I came to the realization that all i really want is for someone to hold me as i fall to pieces and my whole world falls apart and there is finally no more hope for me. I think I found a person who i can finally abore and possible even spend the rest of my life with in a romantic and friendship way. why is it that i can get a random guy to fuck me ( Read more... )

So okay. I guess this proves that I really don't know what I'm doing. I don't regret not going to college but i do regret not having more surcrity in my life. All i have is toni nad sometimes that can be a hand full she flipps out so easily that it makes me nervious. but she is a wonderful friend and i'm lucky to have her ( Read more... )

Today was an okay day. I started my new job and it truns out that Toni and I have the same everything. We work in the same section and have the same lunchs and breaks. which is really cool cuz without her I'd be SOL ( Read more... )

So I got a job and its mon.-fir. 7:00am to 3:30pm it pays $7.00 an hour and there is hope for raises and other things. but in oct. i'm moving out of toni's moms house and getting my own place with toni and maybe 2 1/2 other people. I'm not sure if they are going to live with us but what ever happens happens. right now all i want to do is talk to ( Read more... )

So far Plainfield is all that i wanted it to be. I need a job through the money issue isn't looking to well. But everything eles is great. I got a guy that likes me and takes care of me in a since. But back in Lawrence other things are going on my mom is suppousely changeing the locks on the doors so i can't break in to grab my stuff. she wants to ( Read more... )

So i finally figured out what i want to do in this life. Yes I do want to go to college and all that but not yet. I was never ready for college and in a few months or maybe a year i will be ( Read more... )

So today is my moms birthday and I'm not hanging out with her rather I am sitting at Toni's dads house writing in my journal.

So all that shit that I said about Kyle was bullshit I don't even wanna try hes not even wroth it.

but I'm going to go eat pizza now so later

things right now are hard to figure out. I talked to Kyle and tried to figure out what was going on with us and he says that we are still friends but its so hard to say. I am so... I can't even place how I feel all I know is that I have to have him back as a friend I have to see him I have to fix it! I don't want to give up on there being an us ( Read more... )