my body is slowly eating itself from the inside. my aura is green and murky as my sinuses. i feed my body vitamin c and it turns them into small nails with which it pricks deep into my throat. i laugh and try to ignore my congestion and it spites me by giving me damn bloody noses. it takes every spare chance it has to pass out and likes to do ( Read more... )

i went to the child labs today to pick up old checks and i got to see all my babies. madeline remembered me and is as smart and as wonderful as ever. she let me hold her when she woke up from her nap and rested her head on my shoulder, like she did all summer when she woke up from naps. after her brother waddled up to me and pointed to her and ( Read more... )

thanks to the wonderful beckala, i got to paint with watercolor paints on the walls surrounding my desk today. there's a big picture (to which i need to add) and a short e. e. cummings poem. i hope that my children have walls to paint on and, more than that, i hope they want to paint on walls.

the birds are chirping and the sun is still out and there are a million reasons for no one to be alone. there are people in cars, and people in busses, and people on trains and airplanes; all are headed somewhere but no one really knows where they are going. there are people making love and people making hate and everywhere around everyone there ( Read more... )

j2l1r (12:55:06 PM): it's an annoying debate between just the two of you ( Read more... )

i decided today that i am religious and that spirituality is important to me; however, i hate that i should have to go through an intermediary--a church, temple, mosque, etc--to have a relationship with god. to me, that's like having a nanny raise your kids or an accountant do all your finances--yes, it's easier, but how can you claim ownership to ( Read more... )

i never have been good at goodbyes.

me (after finding out that kristen and i both used to chew on large clumps of our own hair): hey, katie. i just found out that me and your sister are related.

katie: yeah? me and her are related too. she gave me diarrhea.

i am more aware of things the first time that i do them. as i repeat and repeat and repeat, the sensations dull themselves ( Read more... )

i think my favorite thing about christmas eve is the lobsters. not because i like to eat lobster (it's okay, not my favorite, not awful), but because i get to use a nutcracker and a pick to crack and poke out all the meat and then play with the claws. it's the ultimate food-playing experience.