Haven't posted in a while ( Read more... )

I got to the point, after the initial rush of fear, anxiety, intensity, and suspense, where I began just floating on the feelings I was getting. I was so worried about getting too lost in the unreality that had creeped into my mind that I couldn't enjoy coming up. The biggest thing that I was worried about was when the clock began to lose its ( Read more... )

 I went to this church today, only because my mom is in the choir and it was the nice thing to do to go see her. It was one of those singing churches where they're "laid back". It bugged me. I didn't learn any morals or anything - it was just Jesus-love preached for an hour. At Catholic church they were assholes and they laid into you with the ( Read more... )

Not a good day. I'm stuck with a random in a random room next year.
My schedule is somewhat pathetic and I'm not sure how I feel about it at all.
I miss my friends, the new ones I'm making aren't as devoted.
Then again, were the initial ones that devoted?

And sometimes when you're on 
You're really fuckin on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fuckin cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
You'll be better
And You'll be ( Read more... )

Someday I will be a star
or a a blade of grass
or the part of you that makes your heart beat
so I stay hopeful.

Tried to write a poem like I usually do.
Didn't work.
My brain is fucked.
Too many emotions that were blocked this weekend.
I'm sick... physically, mentally, and emotionally.
All this medicine isn't working.
Drink, smoke, listen to music?
Not working.
Depression is a funny thing.

But other than that, the weekend was ridiculously fun. Kasie came up and we ( Read more... )

 Holy shit I want to date her so badly. Time is such an asshole to fight.

Anyway. It's gorgeous outside. I feel great. I kind of want to take pictures but people get annoyed when I just take random pictures of them.

I've decided to start typing everywhere in perfect grammar. I really enjoy English; I think I'm gravitating towards it slowly. Maybe I' ( Read more... )

Nervous neck,
The shadows are short and the sun is tired behind the clouds.
Your blanket's green like you said my eyes were last night,
But my face is red, but not because I'm embarrassed
'Cause I don't think I could ever be embarrassed around you.

Lay around, boy's at home.
My head is clear and yours is heavy.
Calm down, relax, take my hand
Kiss my ( Read more... )

It feels like it's been a long day, even though I woke up at 11:10 and am sitting here at 8 o'clock. I guess I just did a lot today. I went to the park and layed out with my friends and then played basketball for a bit (I think I got a bit of a sunburn haha). Then I went around driving a lot with Esmay and we went a few places. I like hanging out ( Read more... )