The gender mistakes keep flowing in. It happens at least once a day when I'm at work.

It really bothers me. I am so anxious and distrusting. I am constantly wondering what other people are thinking about me--and that is not like me.

I hate this.

Straight 'A's this semester (an A- in Bio Diversity).

GPA 3.93

Overall GPA to date 3.79

I haven't updated in a while despite feeling like I needed to. I have been waiting for conclusive information about whether or not I will be spending my time in Tanzania accompanied by a serial sexual assaulter. He told us he isn't coming several times but there's no official word on that yet and I don't trust him at all ( Read more... )

I am back at school now. Break wasn't really a break, but not in a bad way. It was a challenging, scary, intense, emotional adventure that I won't ever forget. It was nice to learn something in a different way than school.

I am leaving on August 20. I will fly to Amsterdam and spend a night and afternoon there having fun with Anna and then fly to Kilimanjaro in the morning. I will be back in the states the evening of December 15.

I am proud to be an example to my friends of self-reliance and independance.

But I am not a steel tower sourrounded by a moat.

I am lonely and horny.

I am just good at forgetting and hiding it.

We are going to start figure painting in painting class this week, which I am really excited about. One thing I have been thinking about though is that I have never drawn someone who isn't white. I had been thinking of asking Mark whether all of the models we are going to have are white, but had sort of forgoten about it for awhile ( Read more... )

One time when I was at Sunday school I got really jealous of the other kids and didn't want any one else to play with my favorite My Little Pony so I stealthily stuck it down the front of my tights, dropped my skirt back over it, and got all the way home with the contraband safely stowed away. It was very hard to walk normally. It looked a little ( Read more... )

Today has been very up and very down. Here's the sequence of most significant events ( Read more... )

I just came off a period of several months of reading nothing (besides schoolwork) but lesbian fiction. I felt much more knowledgeable and confident with my sexuality/orientation ( Read more... )