throwing it all away fuck this place and the heat and the sweat that coats this salty shitty life.

I'm so sick of it all right now.

Hi.

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( Read more... )

The poignant blasts of the death metal scrape away at what is left of the cilia within my ears ( Read more... )

so full of hate and I am ashamed of it but know not what can be done ( Read more... )

at targets and up, up up and away. this feeling to be alive is so short lived and all I feel when I pull the trigger is recoil. recoiling away, draw the blood back out of the vein and shove it in again as it revolts me. my wrists, my arms, they want it.

so that I only feel one thing... the ground...

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but nobody cares

tomorrow at 5 am I'm going to san francisco and saying goodbye

goodbye.

I can't help but recognize this ridiculous cyclic nature of the world and humanity and wish for it all to end to die to say goodbye to cut out my eyes and to be blind in darkness and hide from the insanity of life. I hate it. I do the drugs because it is the closest I can get to death.

my eyes are on fire just like my veins and hence my heart ( Read more... )

self medication is the best (and only) medication I give to myself living and breathing and bleeding and falling into this spiral of desperation and ruthless thoughts metallic hands reach out their razor tip fingers to grasp at my arms raking my mind and skin as the flesh tears I see the divine as I break through this husk of reality into the ( Read more... )

dose me up and spit me out ( Read more... )