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"You've Changed"
It would be so easy to
have you knocking at my door
pull the shades down over your eyes
have you wake up on my floor...
in a daze
wondering and crazed
why it was
where you were
how it had come to be
that there was a time
that you didn't feel the need
that there was a place
you weren't with me
You'll tear at yourself
and claw at the ( Read more... ) -
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"If you have an idea of what you want to do in your future, you must go at it with almost monastic obsession. Be it music, the ballet, or just a basic degree. You have to go at it single-mindedly and let nothing get in your way. And that’s why you’re young. That’s why you can survive on no sleep, Top Ramen noodles and dental floss, and still look ( Read more... ) -
It Seems a Dream, Since I Used to Scream Sweet Nothings Into Your Ear
Down the hall in the cover of snow
whitening even the darkest of corners
smoke whirling about his head at the piano
blues, great old days we have never seen
a freight train clambers past and he
stubs the cigarette out on one of the black keys.
He hits a note, smacks or strikes or rather
rages out a tune that cries out from beneath
the pearly white teeth of ( Read more... ) -
so happy you could die
I just don’t want to wake up anymore.
I sleep now, more than ever
Hoping that tomorrow will never come.
That if I just stay in bed, I could see your face again.
And you’d steal my breath away.
So that I didn’t have to spend any more time here.
Pretending that I know how to live without you.
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Badfish: A retrospective
Louie only used his index fingers on the typewriter, tapping one key at a time until his words were complete. I never knew how to speak to him when he was writing. I never knew how to look at him or even breathe. He’d escape and I’d be left behind with my bare legs and dirty feet. Wild orange and red curtains were the backdrop to our nights at ( Read more... ) -
Que Pasa...
I want to just crawl under the bed and hide…I hate it when Shawn and I fight. Tonight, all I can think of his how badly I’d like to leave him and just run back to the city. Not this city…but the city…Chicago.
I used to roll my own cigarettes and lurk in bars with my friends, laughing at the world and not eating a thing. Now, I’m stuck in the ( Read more... ) -
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ate way too much today.
sadface.
I also have a wicked sunburn all over my back and shoulders.
bitch moan whine.
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am I supposed to be this happy about relapsing?
I feel so much better about myself...yet I know that I will inevitably crash and burn.
but I feel wonderful as I burn.
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everything sleeps beneath
Florida has been beautiful so far. I still can't believe that I live here now. I can't believe that my life has taken such a turn that I'm back to looking for work again too. I had such a great job in Peoria working for Zipcar...I really really loved my job and the people that I worked with. But Shawn had to transfer and our only options were ( Read more... ) -
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I'm kind of tearing at the seams here...
but I kind of like it.
I feel alive.