I don't fucking exist.

Now I'm out, I'm free, wings spread wide from now on for me ( Read more... )

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my body's every shake and shiver; the traditional motions. My heart rate, my pulse, has been lower than usual since I came in. Everything's been lower than usual. I couldn't control myself as I stepped into the room, a smile spread across my face, I was nervous, but confident. Too much to hope for, too ( Read more... )

I've been put on a 5250, which means that they might be keeping me until May 29, which is when finals come to a close. I can't afford it, I can't afford any of this. I still fail to comprehend why they're calling this an involuntary hold. Who was it who made the phone call asking to be admitted to the hospital? Oh, right, it was me. One of my ( Read more... )

My wrist adorned with two bands signalling my stay in the two mental hospitals I've attended I sit here. I am a patient, I am an inpatient. I am keeping secrets, and everyone's asking about them. It kills me, having to eat all this food, but I need to try, I need to try to get better. I needed someone to help me, that's all that I needed, but I ( Read more... )

I tried, I really did. I tried to gain weight. I was, I was trying so hard ( Read more... )

It's one word, one simple word.
That's all that there is to it.
So why? Why all this fear?
It's the connotation,
the suggestion,
possibly, the commitment.
I'm a creep, I'm a liar,
and when I'm honest?
People fear me.

No one can stop this.No one can keep me here ( Read more... )

( Into the drugs I've been taking. )

It started with the burning, that same sensation I had when the wind referred the pepper spray I was testing back into my eyes. It ended with stripes of eyeliner down my cheeks and blood-shot eyes. It lasted minutes, I'd never felt that before, not the me that I became when the delusions hit ( Read more... )

There are many things going on in this little life I'm leading, things I cannot fully share. It is merely a task that words cannot fulfill, not without the tone of my voice, the expressions of my face, and the slimming of my form ( Read more... )