Carpe Diem

Nov 30, 2009 16:01

The Moment

This is it ( Read more... )

poetry, brigits_flame

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Comments 7

earthmother16 December 4 2009, 06:23:03 UTC
I (mostly) like it. I like the way you write about wanting something, imagining it, and knowing at the same time that things may be better left as they are, and that sometimes the reality doesn't match the fantasy. I like the dance metaphor too, coming close, tantalizing brushes before stepping back.

I say I mostly like it is because I can connect with this poem, maybe I could have written it myself and if I had I would have written it a little differently.

I did a dance like this with someone once a long time ago, but there were reasons it could never happen but I have never forgotten. From time to time, I still wonder what if.

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vyvyan_wilde December 6 2009, 02:00:49 UTC
Very nice poem; I think it describes well the feelings of someone who likes a friend, but wants to preserve the friendship. It's a difficult situation, but I like the tone of the narrator (I don't know if that's the right word) as well as the hints of eroticism.

By the way- your icon is cool :)

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desert_rose December 6 2009, 07:53:07 UTC
I'm glad you chose poetry! I really like this! It hints of excitement, and even more so when it's revealed that the main subject in this poem is married.

Good luck this week!

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rephen December 9 2009, 03:36:45 UTC
I enjoyed this. It reads very evocative and personal. And something that almost everyone could relate to. A tension between old friends with every reason not to pursue that spark between them. Wonderfully captured in such a simple format.

Wonderful work.

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keppiehed December 9 2009, 19:02:42 UTC
I always enjoy poetry. I was surprised in the middle to hear that one was married! That was nice to have an element that keeps us guessing about the people. Thanks for sharing.

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