people whose cell phones go off loudly in public places, and who then take them out, stare at them while taking their sweet time deciding whether to answer it (or wahtever is going on in those minds of theirs), need to die in the following way and/or ways:

slowly.

apple jacks have a new shape. before, they were just orange and green circles. but now, the green ones are shaped like actual jacks (think twosies). so they're little X's with rounded ends.

anyway, i was just eating some and i realized my spoon said "OOXOXOX". that's TWICE the lovin i get from cheerios. i think i know who my valentine is ( Read more... )

i have long wondered why men insist on knowing every detail regarding a woman's infidelity. they crave minutiae such as kiss duration, tension of thigh claspage, in addition to the hard-hitting standards such as whether or not communal climax was achieved. it always struck me that men (myself included) would want to torture themselves by hearing ( Read more... )

they closed off the 175th street A train station. why? well, because of the ice that had been sitting on the stairs for a month, said stairs almost completely disintegrated into a small ruin. hooray.

if i were running a company that piped old-time music onto the hold functions of the phone systems of geriatric care centers, i would every now and then toss in a little 50's music for some spice, and if the centers object that their holding customers are complaining, i will stand my ground and suggest that perhaps they ought to consider another ( Read more... )

A very cute site and well-done. The music's a part of it, so speakers on, Kitt.

http://synapse.subneural.net/~denon/waldo/

What's with the tweaky sun-avatar? Why, that's no sun, that's the moon over which some enterprising bovine leapt, presumably to its eventual demise. Why the fairy tale? Well, it's from my nursery school diploma, yes I still have it...it proclaims me "Master of Rhymes". Featured also on the same document is "Peter Peter pumpkin-eater, had a wife ( Read more... )

Last week I bit the bullet and accepted a temporary gig hanging wallpaper professionally, assisting this father of a friend of a friend who, while a master of his craft, is clearly insane. I was curious as to how it would affect my arms, still weak from under-use and still in need of strengthening ( Read more... )

this thing on?