...Screws up perfectly-paced charming songs like Condon!

Link to Part I
Link to Part II

We’re back.  Yay.

( Please feel free to write your own parody )

Link to Part I

I went to see this thing during a short work trip to Ithaca with two dear friends, who will be referred to as Friend 1 and Friend 2 to protect the innocent.  They went to see the movie because I talked them into it; let their names not be sullied through association.  We sat near the very back, knowing we were going to be assholes ( Read more... )

WARNING: All the warnings from my treatment of Maleficent apply.
( In which I have opinions on remakes in general, and this remake in particular. )

I got into a discussion last night with some of my friends on why I like to watch bad movies.  There are so many good movies in the world, Mandy, they say.  Why do you waste your time watching shitty ones ( Read more... )

I wrote a thing.  It's very long, kind of rambly, and gets emotional in places.  I was originally just going to sit on it.  Then I received encouragement from multiple sources that I trust to share it with other people.  I also received encouragement, in not so many words, to not be a goddamn coward.  When I spend so much of my time telling people ( Read more... )

Link to Part I
Link to Part II
Link to Part III
Link to Part IVAll right, we’re coming to the end of this train wreck, and then I can go back to actually having a life.  In the meantime, here are my final thoughts for your consideration.  This section, by the way, is relatively free of revealed plot elements.  I hope you’ve enjoyed my semi-coherent ( Read more... )

Link to Part I
Link to Part II
Link to Part III

Well, by popular demand, I have returned to finish spending way too much time dissecting this piece-of-shit movie.  Enjoy Part IV: The Big Damn Snoozefest of a Climax, with Bonus Rage-Filled Tangents!

( The New Movie, Act Three )

Link to Part I
Link to Part II

And now enjoy Part III: The New Movie, Act Two, or: The Part Where Very Little of Any Substance Happens.

( The New Movie, Act Two )

Link to Part I

Enjoy Part II: The New Movie, Act I, or: What Part of "Show, Don't Tell" Did You Not Understand?

( Act One )

WARNING #1: This is not so much going to be a review as it is going to be a rant with review-like elements ( Read more... )