My Tribute to Finland: Randomly placed K's.

[christina_ricci]

New York to Finland. Hunting is difficult in stilettos but impaling the ground with their spiked heels will help you keep your balance against the reverb of a large rifle. It takes two shots to the kidney to kill a large moose, an hour of sawing to remove the antlers and ten minutes to make them into a stylish hat. Be prepared to achieve perfekt

Comments

[mcgregor_ewan]

Har, randomly placed K's. You kknow. Thisk updakte, isk seriouksly kkcreepy.

[j_rhysmeyers]

Quit stalking me, McGregor. People will begin to talk.

[mcgregor_ewan]

They're already talking about the bite mark on your neck that coincides with the shape of my teeth, so why not give them something else to go on?

[j_rhysmeyers]

I thought we agreed to throw that out...

[j_rhysmeyers]

As far as I'm concerned, relocating to Finland is enough of a reason to get away from those PETA fuckers. PETA people are usually Greenpeace people. And Greenpeace people blow up boats. I like boats. I like them very much.

[christina_ricci]

I wore my mink into Kennedy when I returned and can you believe that those regurgitated potatoes tried to toss a can of paint at me? It's not as if the animals don't understand. They know they must die for the sake of fashion and I'm sure they've made their peace with it.

I can't profess to be a fan of boats, actually. You can't throw a decent tantrum on a boat.

[j_rhysmeyers]

Now that's a blasphemy, blackheart. The way I see it, they're going to die anyway. Everyone knows that animals have a short lifespan anyway, so why not sacrifice for the greater good? Or rather, why not sacrifice for my next pair of leather trousers or my next dinner entree? I'm right with you, pretty.

Aye, you can! If you really get into it, you can send your foe overboard. Not that I've ever done it, but still, it's possible.

[christina_ricci]

Exactly! What good will they do festering in the ground with maggots chewing at their entrails?! And we're saving them from future pain. They won't have to die slowly. There will be no animal alzheimers. One bullet to the brain. Quick, clean, exact. Ship them to Taiwan and be made into a beautiful pair of boots.

Such a noble death. Humans should be made into fashion pieces when they die. Ralph Lauren, instead of being buried, will be made into a sweater for the Fall 2028 line.

You've been the one being thrown overboard, haven't you?

[ex_ahannigan837]

Sexual innuendoes and randomly placed K's. I think this is one of the best entries I've ever read.

[christina_ricci]

It had to be mentioned. I'm sure I'm not the only person obsessed with the compulsive K-ing.

[ex_ahannigan837]

It definitely fascinates me, for sure.

[christina_ricci]

I love how the desperately unfascinating is always so fascinating.

[charlizetheron]

We should make up a Finnish rollerskate dance. Most likely something that involves a makeout at its Finnish. Ohhhhh bad joke haha I'm tired leave me alone.

[christina_ricci]

That brings Mike Myers to mind. Bronzed Finn's on rollerskates. Bronzemember.

Hmm. You've made me cackle. I'll never let you live this down.

[charlizetheron]

I was thinking more of that crazy movie with that serial killer and her lesbian girlfriend, maybe some Journey thrown in there. ;)

I love your cackle.

[christina_ricci]

You just had to bring it up, didn't you? You she-devil. Hmm. We haven't spoken in ages.

And I love your attempts to make me cackle.

[elenoire_c]

You actually had duck while in Helsinki? Last time I was there it seemed like the only thing they served was reindeer and lamb.

[christina_ricci]

You should consult a travel guide and explicitly tell them what you'd rather not have. They'll refer you to a restaurant with a diverse cuisine.