So. I'm exactly one pound from being overweight. ONE pound.
Holy hell what have I done to myself? I can't believe I've let myself get this bad .. I can't believe I haven't tried harder.
Janice is right in that I keep fucking up.
I can't believe I get so lazy.

in the frenzy of my thinking and typing i omitted a very important word in a sentance that change the entire context of the thought ( Read more... )

In addition to the crappiest day of the crappiest week I've had in a while (depression wise), Kurt and I broke up. Not the best way to close tonight out. Nope, not at all ( Read more... )

i thought about two things today: how much my face hurts and food. it never goes away; the acne or the appetite ( Read more... )

sometimes i get these feelings that are indescribable .. i want to scream and i want to hit something. most of all i just want to cry. and then cry some more ( Read more... )

Wow .. it's been a while since I've been depressed ( Read more... )

I've started the countdown to when I get to go back to Arizona ( Read more... )

I've taken one eating disorder and turned it into another; this time I've turned it into overeating. This is why I have ballooned to 135 .. a 20lb gain since November 2003 (10 of that was May 13-June 25 alone ( Read more... )

this is still my "complain about my weight" journal, so i will continue to ... well, complain about my weight ( Read more... )

I feel so gross right now. Like, disgustigly gross.
I now have to lose 20 pounds and Janice has started to forbid me going to the gym. She claims that it's only making me worse. You want to know what's making me worse? Gaining weight as a result and her throwing what I used to be like in my face everyday. THAT's what's making me worse. I'm going ( Read more... )