Pull me up, 
And out, 
And in. 
Around, 
And side, 
And front 
And back.

All track is lost. 
I think I am lost.

Impossibly possible. 
Heart, 
In hands, 
On floor, 
In half. 
My smile is fading.

Someone who used to mean a lot just stopped existing.

A big fuck you?

Love, 
      Christina

You're pulling me in, 
But I'm shutting you out.
You are the best and worst.

Step back and see. 
Look at what you're doing.

I can't do this again. 
I won't do this again.

It feels like nothing's left. 
It feels like I'm fading away. 
It feels like I'm not myself. 
Despite these feelings,
I can't remember how it feels to feel.

Rain hits the ground like bullets, 
And everything is backwards.

Almost as if, 
Nothing is, 
Was, 
Or ever will be. 
-
-
Awake but not quite. 
Not ever really ready. 
-
-
Why am I here again?
Back on that path again... 

Tear me up and out. 
Throw me down and step. 
Step on, 
In, 
And around me. 
I cry. 
I sputter.
I hate.

Nothing is the same.
Everything is darker now. 
Everything is different now. 
All I feel is hate.

 Bind me with your fucking words. 
Complete and utter restriction. 
Tongue tied in knots. 
My tongue ties in knots. 
-
-
You continue to make this easier, 
And easier on me. 
As you speak without thinking. 
Think.
-
-
Inability to blame one's self. 
Selfishness. 
Repel.
You're doing it for me. 
You're losing yourself.

 The discontent is absolute. 
Pieces are scattered.
Never picked up. 
Never paired, 
Put back together. 
Every feeling is felt, 
But I'm so numb.

-
-
Cold and lacking confidence.
Life,
The story of my own. 
-
-
Pick me up. 
Put me together.
I think it's meant to work this way.