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Untitled Porn Screenplay
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FADE IN:
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
A well-lit hotel room in San Antonio. We see JESSICA from behind, presenting her vagina to KEVIN. Jazz music plays in the background. They begin to make love.
JESSICA
(moaning and panting, as if about to climax)
Ooohh baby, you’re gonna ( Read more... ) -
Yum Yum
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This is completely crap, but I like it. I was fucking around with ArtPad and discovered that you can almost make actual movies with it.
It’s like, MS Paint Cinema!
Set the speed to “fast” from the start. The text speed will still be slower, sadly.
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Who is by the Pumps?
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When you say “a couple,” I’m thinking two. Three people do not compose a couple, that would be “a few” people, and this can be a very important difference. It really bothers me when I am given an inaccurate idea of the situation I am walking into, so this needs to stop.
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Throw Up Your Chops!
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This is a new game that Kim and I have invented for power outages, camping trips, and days when getting out of bed seems way too fricken hard. It’s called Throw Up Your Chops!
Instructions:
- Throw up your chops! As in, raise your hand as if you were about to strike your ( Read more... )
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The Power of Exclamation Points
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One of my favorite things to do is to open up an instant messaging client, pick a random screenname, and slowly convince that person to block me. I get a kick out of it because I’m stupid. I really like the idea of there being hundreds of people in the world who hate me ( Read more... ) -
Tales from the Sev
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The clerk at my 7-Eleven always asks stupid questions about whatever I’m buying. For example, the other day I picked up three boxes of macaroni (because that’s what Canadians eat) and while I was paying for them he said, quote:
“So, how much macaroni are you going to make ( Read more... ) -
This is a Broadcast
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I thought about it, and came up with the number 31. That is approximately the number of first posts I’ve written for websites. There have been many e/n sites and journals, and 31 times now I have struggled to introduce them. However, this will be my first weblog.
That’s ( Read more... )
