I was just looking back, which is so easy to do. Its the coming back that is hard. Comparing what has happened to what is happening. I honestly felt so much happier when I was depressed. Which sounds so odd I suppose. I can't even wrap my head around why that is at the moment. Jesse would probably say I'm nuts. I guess its just that within ( Read more... )

Just finished sewing the last curtain for the first window. Not too bad, a few flaws here and there, but over a good fit. I am pleased. Days like these, these frequent freak spring afternoons, I wonder stitch by stitch how much the speed as slowed. How little things seem to matter. I remember the laughs we used to have the warm smiles we felt ( Read more... )

I feel like a heavy weight bringing the world down. Like everytime I turn around I'm gonna burst. There's no escape. Everywhere I go I feel trapped. Like I can't move forward. There's a constant eye looking over my every move. There is no freedom in this monotany. I never thought I could end up this deep. This unstable. I always thought ( Read more... )

well its almost 3am. Im not really sure how I ended up here? You felt so warm so comforting. I could hear you breathing, your heart beating. I was beginning to lose myself in a peace. Why do we get bogged down? Why can't I be selfish for once? The sort of selfishness that helps you to see a personal beauty stripped of all your surroundings ( Read more... )

How do you conquer your world when the world around you is crumbling. Are you meant to do this all by yourself? THink* I need to believe that he really does want to help. That at the end of the day there is love. A feeling which will conquer both worlds. Are we adults? Are we children pushed into a position our parents can't handle through ( Read more... )

I sort of feel stranded on the side of the road no signs to the left no signs to the right. One lonely rusty pole point me neither straight nor backward. Can this be so right and so wrong all at the same time? Where exactly do I go from here? I don't want to be a pain. Love is such a powerful thing so powerful it consumes you. We must learn ( Read more... )

i starred down the stairs for a long time today. I felt like a ragdoll at the top. Its pouring out today. I must have had hundreds of dreams last night. Each one a little more unsettling than the last. No matter what they always seem to be there to criticize to scold. There's no way out of this. Each minor problem seems to be such a major ( Read more... )

So now im back at the house. Debating on this trek. Looking for a reason to go up when all I really want to be is down. I miss paintings. I miss my light. Im pretty scared. I feel myself changing. Reactions differing. Can't decide where things go or even where they are. The more I try the more I seem to fail. The down time I have I spend ( Read more... )

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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY ( Read more... )