so, i'm back at school. i'm enjoying myself. i was throwing up all morning and my mom said i should stay home but i said NO, MOM. so i went. and it was fun. i think. aw i get to see my bessst friends all day long. me maddy and ryen are in gym and chem together now. yayy ( Read more... )

can anyone stop this drug? can it just go away???! i'm on the verge of tears and it's late and i'm at a decent benzo high and i'm mad that my friends are fucking up the same way that i fucked up.. yet i'm so jealous of them right now.. and i wanna be there and i wanna be them and feel that way again but i can't do it.. and i don't wanna be around ( Read more... )

i didn't do anything illegal today ( Read more... )

uuugh i hate when people invade my personal space aka make various attempts to fit in with the clique, worship our celebrities, do our drugs, acquire our eating disorders, etc. - i love you to death but you aren't us bitch! and i'm annoying? you're a poser and it's obvious. but thanks for adding invisible inches, maybe feet, to my head ( Read more... )

i'm the only one in this triangle that knows the triangle even exists. heres to life and everything fucked up about it.

what. the. fuck.

AHHH! ok this is driving me so insane. i'm like going to die if i don't figure things out stat.

addiction for sale. $20.

upppdate: can't sleeeep fucckkk... my back is KILLING me... i hate thissss. me and tom are back together. before last week i woulda never thought! actttually i'm lying. i knew it was coming. i told natalie i wanted to get back with him... and he called me like 2 days later. the irony. i felt it in ma' bones. MY BACK. i can't find aaanything besides ( Read more... )

pissed that the benzos hadn't kicked, i went for the bed and started watching factory girl on my ipod. i got outta bed for a cig and whaddyaknow, benzomania101. i'm floating. i've been withdrawaling. mildly. but its there. chills. stomach. blah. but i feel good now minus a minor headache. wishing to be edie sedgwick is kind of like wishing you were ( Read more... )

last night was.. ok. the party we went to wasnt so much a party. the next party we went to was trashy. we ended up at my house at like 130ish. me and ryan had the best cigarette break of our lives and i dont think we'll ever really know why. i had the BEST sleep. ugh. to die for. tomorrow starts home-bound. miss lowe is my teacher which should be ( Read more... )