Wow... Just read all my past entries... Much like a documentary on drug addiction, psychopathia, and sexual frustration (confusion, perhaps)... Most entries sound like unnecessary war stories on how much drugs I did and how much I loved heroin... Haha wow.. Just wow... It's been a rough year and a half but I've changed so much especially over the ( Read more... )

her death put such an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach ( Read more... )

so many of my entries were based on giving a fuck about someone else.

thank satan that's over and done with. "thank you satan!"

i went away for 3 months. and i don't know what to do with myself now. i'm sober and i love heroin.

finally ( Read more... )

i gotta let this go! what am i doing? seriously? why do i care? i don't need someone who is so unsure of themselves that they don't talk to the one who cares the most for over a week. you wasted so much time. it's either going back to normal or it's going nowhere. the end... never thought it'd be. but i've moved on.... sort of.

for once in my life, i feel good about the life style i have made for myself. though at times strange, it's pretty fascinating and immensely fucked up. i have a lot of fun doing whatever it is that i do. i hang out with great people. i have control over my out of control'ness. tonight was so amazing. just seeing you for one second is enough. this ( Read more... )

OK. well;; i'm getting suboxone. thank saint satan and all his glory.

update of the last post:

i'm no longer over it. and ryan and brian are back together.

and my best friend is fucking amazing. and i love her so much. and even though people think we are big lesbos together, i want her babies despite it all!

ughhh things are different... we aren't the same. there's nothing to talk about. and sometimes your mere presence gets on my nerves. i feel like i've changed so much in the past couple months. you changed me and i don't wanna be like this anymore. --- i totally just stopped typing to text the person i'm talking about... omggg i've been brainwashed ( Read more... )

in this situation, wrong is prrrrobably an understatement. yesterday was different.