Fic: Watching Him (NC17)

[ciraarana]

Title: Watching Him
Author: CiraArana
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 6,515
Warnings: awkward first time sex between two sixteen-year-old boys
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characterst etc. are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Also, hands off, mine.

Comments

[frauleinslash]

I really liked this :) If you hadn't said anything I wouldn't have known English wasn't your first language; there were a couple of mistakes, but not major ones. I really liked the characters and the way they interacted with each other, and it was tender as well as hot. Great job ^^

[ciraarana]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. And I'm very glad that my informal, "teenage" English is convincing. :)

[vsentyabre]

I agree with flauleinslash that I wouldn't have known English wasn't your first language. Besides, I think Stu's thoughts and emotions were very realistic for his age--falling in love with an ordinary guy, picking out little quirks about him, not even realizing he's sexually attracted to him, etc--it's a very accurate account of that familiar feeling of having a high school crush, especially on someone of the same gender. You did a good job portraying his doubt and confusion, and his realization that Seb probably feels the same way. And that stuff, in my opinion, is a lot more important than grammar.

Very cute story! I really enjoyed it!

[ciraarana]

Thank you very much! I had a lot of fun writing Stuart - and did a lot of cringing at remembering myself at the age of 16. ;) Glad you enjoyed it! And I'm really glad that my informal, "teenage boy" English passes muster. Yay! ^__^

[luredbyvenus]

This was really sweet. I loved it.

[ciraarana]

Thank you very much!

[skysongma]

That was so much *truer* than most of the stories I've read, especially from a guy's point of view. It was just fantastic, I swear: just the right amount of cute and dirty and silly little school details.

[ciraarana]

Thank you very much! I had a lot of fun trying to imagine what would be going on in a guy's head - and did a lot of cringing at remembering me at 16. ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[starry_nights88]

That was really good! I wouldn't have been able to tell English wasn't your first language if you hadn't had said anything. I only noticed a couple of errors, but nothing too serious!

[ciraarana]

Thank you! I'm very glad that my informal, "teeange boy" English passes muster. :)