Why?

[citizen_hugo]

I awoke early this morning in somewhat of a daze, not much really clear to me. Then I saw him sleeping, what looked like almost peacefully beside me and it all came flooding back. In the heat of my anger and thoughtlessness I had actually raped him? No, wait, he knows he belongs to me now so should I really call it rape? I think I should. I left

Comments

[subserv_elijah]

*When I awaken, my eyes come open still staring toward the floor, off the edge of the bed, and I immediately tense, recalling last night's events. My heartbeat increases without even trying, and I hesitate even moving a muscle, but as I listen closely to the silence in the room, I realize that I'm alone. Cautiously turning my head far enough to look over my shoulder, I see that indeed, the other side of the bed is empty, and I breathe a sigh of releif

[citizen_hugo]

*I know I should go back inside and start work but I am scared about what I might end up doing to him this time. If he has any sense he will stay out of my way but even if I simply step back inside the house I have a tendancy to slip. Must be the memories of her. Sighing I get up and go up to my office. The hall passes the bedroom on the way and I can't resist a look inside, expecting to see the small lump under the covers as I left him earlier. He's not there. Frowning I step inside and look around for him, as I get closer to the bed I notice the red stains on it. Oh no.*

[subserv_elijah]

*When I have finished in the bathroom, and made myself presentable, and convinced myself that no, I'm not going to bleed out or anything, not yet, at least, I cautiously go back to the bedroom. I rushed out so fast, I did not think to take any clothing with me to put on, and so I return, hair still damp from the shower, a big fluffy bath towel wrapped around me. As I reach the bedroom, I see him standing in there, probably looking for me, and I freeze in the doorway, not knowing what to say or do. I swallow hard, waiting for him to turn to me.*

[citizen_hugo]

*Leaning over the bed I pull the soiled sheets off and turn towards the door to get them washed. Then I notice him standing in the doorway with one of my towels wrapped around his and I almost drop the sheets. So hot, so wanton, so...cute. But I can feel my control slipping and with such a sinful image before me the fire is rising.*

You. My Office. Now.

[subserv_elijah]

*The way he goes from angry to sweet is getting so confusing to me. He hurts me, then wants to know if I can cook? What does this guy want from me then? To see me in pain, or fo rme to be happy here, although at this point Hell will have to freeze over for me to ever be happy here.*

*I wipe my eyes and look up at him.*

Yeah, a little.... I can follow a recipe book too, of you've got one.

[citizen_hugo]

*I can see pain clearly in his eyes when he looks at me but I resist the urge to just slide down next to him and take him in my arms. He does not appear to realise that he did not call me 'Sir' but just this once I decide to let it go.*

Good. There are a few recipe books on the bottom shelf out there. Make some pasta and salad or something for dinner, I'm not that hungry but better to eat something.

*Letting the leash slip from my wrist I go back to my work.*

[subserv_elijah]

*When I feel the leash slip out of his hands I get right up, watching him, then start to move away and across the room, then hesitating at th door for a moment. I turn back, needing to say... needing to ask... but as soon as my mouth opens, I close it again, swallowing my voice and thoughts with it. I'll just figure it all out myself. And I need clothes. And to clean up. But if I ask he'll say no. And if I just do it, he'll be angry. I turn and exit the room and silently break away to the bedroom to grab my jeans at least, and then rush quietly to the bathroom where I tend to myself, put on the jeans, then get back to the kitchen and start making a meal before I can be missed. The collar and least remain where they were, still on my neck, as I pull out a cooking pot to start with. Actually, food right about now seems like a good idea since I haven't eaten over 24 hours now, and I manage to forget about everything else for a little while as I prepare our meal.*

[citizen_hugo]

*As soon as he has left I drop my pen and lean back in the chair, closing my eyes with a heavy sigh. I can't concentrate on anything and my head is beginning to hurt, I can't work in this state. Maybe a relaxing break and hopefully I'll feel a bit better so I leave the office and go to sit in the garden again, waiting for my pet to do dinner. I think we can eat it out here, it is a pleasant day and I wouldn't feel as strained as I would if we were to have it in the confines of the house.*