[cont from here*It's been a good hour or two since Elijah fled and in that time I've calmly continued reading my book, letting him sweat and shiver and worry himself over what I have planned ( Read more... )

I feel like humming. Walking down the road with a bounce in my step, heading towards this new cit's house, the one that kindly looked after Elijah while I was unable to do so, I feel so calm, so relaxed, as if this is a new me almost. And in so many ways it is ( Read more... )

It hurts. Hurts so fucking much. My head is much clearer now than it has ever been since the incident, I dare say the talks with the psychiatrist have helped. But I won't be allowed to forget what has happened, I have to face up to what I have done and try and redeem myself somehow. That will not be easy. How can I go back now and promise him that ( Read more... )

Two months. Two fucking months in this hell hole of a place and I've only been in here for two days. I'm missing him already ( Read more... )

Unlike the other times when I have awoken after a restless sleep, I remember all of what happened yesterday. I can still see the fear shining in Elijah's eyes when I told him what I was going to do to him. I can still see the pain etched on his face as I beat him mercilessly, and yet I do not feel any regret for what I did and that worries some ( Read more... )

I awoke early this morning in somewhat of a daze, not much really clear to me. Then I saw him sleeping, what looked like almost peacefully beside me and it all came flooding back. In the heat of my anger and thoughtlessness I had actually raped him? No, wait, he knows he belongs to me now so should I really call it rape? I think I should. I left ( Read more... )