Sometimes I wish it would all just end.... I know that the guilt that I would feel if my father actually died would be tremendous, but sometimes I wish he would just drink himself to death
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sorry to hear about your difficult situation l, i had similar problems for a while and still have them a little bit to some degree with the father. best wishes. nice to see you posting again.
That's just it though... that letter didn't come off as mean at all. It came across like a mother chastising her child... which is basically what all co-dependent relationships end up as... a child acting as an adult, and an adult acting as a child. The question is, will he be man enough to read it? Or will he just disregard it like a child?
The fact that you end the entry with a post-script about how you feel sorry about how stern your letter was... that's just his manipulation winning over.
The only way you can truly love him is to get out of the situation. There's nothing you can do to fix him, and playing along with his game of emotional manipulation is feeding the problem instead of helping it.
I know it sounds absurd, but the best thing you can do for him is to *not* be there for him.
I think you're doing the right thing by the steps you've already taken. The next step is to get to the point emotionally where he doesn't hurt you anymore.
He said that he didn't believe that the minivan was damaged
That he doesn't want me to tell him what to do about his medicine -- he's kinda an "eccentric" guy and he's not gonna change
And I should cut out this little drama queen deal.
Oh, and in the next message he left he said he's going to cut me out of his will.
Lovely right?
If he is so sick that he doesn't realize I want him to get and be well, then fine, fuck it all. Fuck the property fuck the family money, because in all honesty, I never counted on it anyway.
I know how he is about his cycles and spending. There isn't going to be anything left.
have you tried to start to forgive him? that's probably the hardest thing to do but if you don't, even after he dies, you won't be much better because the anger will still be there, even if he's not. I hope the letter wakes him up.
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The fact that you end the entry with a post-script about how you feel sorry about how stern your letter was... that's just his manipulation winning over.
The only way you can truly love him is to get out of the situation. There's nothing you can do to fix him, and playing along with his game of emotional manipulation is feeding the problem instead of helping it.
I know it sounds absurd, but the best thing you can do for him is to *not* be there for him.
I think you're doing the right thing by the steps you've already taken. The next step is to get to the point emotionally where he doesn't hurt you anymore.
Reply
He said that he didn't believe that the minivan was damaged
That he doesn't want me to tell him what to do about his medicine -- he's kinda an "eccentric" guy and he's not gonna change
And I should cut out this little drama queen deal.
Oh, and in the next message he left he said he's going to cut me out of his will.
Lovely right?
If he is so sick that he doesn't realize I want him to get and be well, then fine, fuck it all. Fuck the property fuck the family money, because in all honesty, I never counted on it anyway.
I know how he is about his cycles and spending. There isn't going to be anything left.
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Its gonna be a long road to forgive.....
I wish the letter would have, alas it just pissed him off more because he thinks I'm against him.
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