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cjthedude

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Dec 17, 2016 13:11

In 2013 we were living in Ohio and barely making ends meet. I was making 11.75/hr. We had just had our third child and we were getting government benefits. I wanted more for my family so I started looking for other work and that search included moving us if necessary. As luck would have it I had a friend here in Dallas/Fort Worth who was the ( Read more... )

Comments 14

hey there... prinzessbtrfly December 17 2016, 19:21:09 UTC

welcome to my journal. :)

this may be too personal just yet but did she define her 'unfinished business'??

RE: hey there... cjthedude December 17 2016, 19:44:20 UTC

yes, we have been working through some things in our marriage. Going back and evaluating all the junk we brought into it and trying to deal with our pasts and let them go. She feels like we have started that here at the current church we attend and she doesn't feel like that is done yet.

Re: RE: hey there... prinzessbtrfly December 17 2016, 19:50:23 UTC

i c, sorry you feel stuck. i hope things start to look up.

RE: Re: RE: hey there... cjthedude December 17 2016, 20:11:09 UTC

Thanks, I appreciate that. It will all work out eventually:)

elsieellis December 17 2016, 20:09:16 UTC

What kind of unfinished business?

cjthedude December 18 2016, 17:42:23 UTC

She feels like we still have some things to work through with our current church.

timetotriangle December 20 2016, 17:11:24 UTC

I'm definitely sorry to hear that you feel stuck. If there's anything I could say, I'd tell you that all hope is not lost, you might be in TX longer than you had hoped for - but right now here's what you got.

It sounds like you're in a loving relationship with your partner and your children. You have a job that pays the bills, and religious adherence/resolution is a personal prospect that comes with a straight up benefit - at the end of it, you'll have evaluated all that junk you mentioned and let the past go.

As far as sharpening your skills, I can completely relate to your situation. Use the internet and whatever resources you can to keep your mind up to speed - work might not reflect your talents, but your work doesn't reflect YOU which is more important to keep sight of.

Good luck man, keep on keeping on.

cjthedude December 26 2016, 21:41:16 UTC

Thank you for your insights! It's nice to hear outside perspectives. I definitely need to get out of my own head.

estelle December 28 2016, 20:55:43 UTC

Sounds like she is giving you mixed messages. Maybe ask her again:
"A few months ago you told me that you wanted to move back to Nashville, but the other night you were unhappy when I told you that I was actively job searching there. Which is it that you want: Stay here or move to Nashville?"

Also: "A job search takes time and it's not always possible to predict when a good job offer might be made so we probably won't be able to choose our moving date down to a specific month but we can try to set a loose schedule."

If she doesn't want to move anymore or set a timeframe for the move: Apply to better jobs in your area.
If you agree on a timeframe: Keep applying to companies in Nashville and mention the start date you'll be available in your cover letters. If it's too early and there are no openings posted this far in advance you could send a few carefully written application to your dream employers and maybe they'll remember you when something opens up.

cjthedude December 28 2016, 21:30:32 UTC

Since we had this conversation, I have applied for a promotion within my company and I have also had a friend reach out to me about working with him. I have also applied to several other different companies in the DFW area and I am waiting to hear back from them. If Nashville is where we are supposed to be, we will get there.

daae December 30 2016, 14:14:28 UTC

Geez, I understand some of this. I came to Poland to be with my husband because it was much, much easier for me to come to the EU and find work as an ESL teacher than for him to come to the States, but we don't want to stay in Poland forever. However, we have NO idea where we want to go in a few years. States? Somewhere else in the EU? Asia? We have NO idea.

It is such, such a rough feeling when you know you aren't following your passions in your career and like you are wasting your talent. I do hope that both you and your wife can find a wonderful place that suits both of you sooner rather than later. You will definitely get to where you are meant to be, and I thoroughly believe that.

cjthedude December 30 2016, 15:37:02 UTC

I've never been to Europe. I would love to visit in the near future.

You know what's worse than feeling like you are wasting talent? Not knowing what your real passions are. I think I struggle with this the most. My "passions" change so frequently. I'm not really sure what I'm really supposed to be doing with my life. I do believe that we will end up where we are supposed to be and that I will find my true passion and purpose.

daae December 30 2016, 15:42:13 UTC

Please do! It is lovely here. :D

Hmmm, it isn't bad if they change so much! It just means you are not a 2D being and that your inner universe is rich and colourful. However, I can see how it can be frustrating. Perhaps you aren't meant to do one single thing at once, but instead weave a gorgeous tapestry with your various explorations and experiences that will become something glorious to behold one day. I'm sure of it. :)

cjthedude December 30 2016, 15:50:51 UTC

My wife and I have always wanted to go to Italy together and I would love to visit a nice little town in the Alps. I want to live in the mountains by a lake when I get older.

I have done a lot of things in my lifetime. Videography, photography, concert lighting, theatrical lighting, and even some healthcare. I'm one of those guys who is good at a lot of things, but not great at any of them. I'd like to be great at something. Maybe you are right. Maybe all those experiences and talents are supposed to work together to form something bigger that I just can't see right now.