When you think only of how you might have lived, don't wonder why you're doing the same thing the next day. I've failed my own heart, dammit. I thought it would be better if I tried to feel less of anything. Now I'm alone, without identity, and for the first time ever losing the trust in that which keeps me only sleeping temporarily: my humanity. I ( Read more... )

Nothing original to say. Getting really bored with life. Going to call Greg and hope he answers. Hate to say it but he was right as usual. Demetri Martin is your new favorite comedian. Ohayocon is too far away.

I didn't want to go to the grave without going to jail anyway. Driving drunk is a bad idea. Driving shitfaced is a good way to make yourself seek help or try getting sober.

zomg what an effin blast. I made a myriad of new fine friends, got to see many older and closer ones, and brought home many spoils and memories. My new bud Jordan is crashing in my room since he was nice enough to drive me to DM when he lives in Iowa City. We didn't end up getting on the road until 2am, so I almost literally just got in the door. ( Read more... )

After such an absence, where does one begin? I certainly don't know, but I do know I want to write so as not to fall asleep again. I find no respite in it. I'm going to Sogencon so I guess that will be the best thing that's happened to me socially in almost half a year. I think I really need to be somewhere I can shed the facades and just be me. ( Read more... )

Well, I'm completely moved out of Lisa's apartment. I got it all done in about three hours, too, so well done. Now onto the next chapter. The only thing I'm really sad about is that I think two people who were friends of Lisa's before they were mine probably won't talk to me anymore. I'll miss them, but I can't blame them for loyalty. As much as ( Read more... )

Still feeling the stagnant ache. Don't know how much I can take. Want to be rid of this feeling but more so the memories. I hesitate to come clean about anything because no one accepts me fully. Maybe I'm just paranoid, which I should thank her for. I hate her and it's killing me. I want it to go away but it will likely inoculate me to love for ( Read more... )

Ran into an old friend last night. celebrated greatly. drank greatly. vomited greatly. forgot greatly. I need to remember no shots after four tall boys of the high life. gaming tonight. woot. I need pain medication.

Please help me, my Lord. I can't fall in the ranks but I want to fight. I am your masterless samurai serving only the honor you instilled in me from my creation. My edge is honed and my technique polished but my hand wavers. The silhouette of my adversary is apparent but its form is obscured. I have no critical striking points and it begins to ( Read more... )

some samplings of the fridge haiku I've been constructing ( Read more... )