I've been drifting through my adulthood life as if I were still a child. Still dreaming, still running away, still in denial whenever it was time to be serious. I think I have finally gotten tired of taking the consequences that ALWAYS follow. Today I grow up. And I will fight off anything that tries to hold me back.

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I find that I get depressed when there's nothing around me to be excited about. That's probably bad. Life can't always be fun and exciting. I was feeling really down this whole morning, wondering why I was alive, and then I thought about the idea of going online to Office Depot (after I get some work done) to see if I could find some useful ( Read more... )

I have until 2:30pm before the chaos starts in this house again. I must focus and get as much of the thesis worked on as possible. No more checking things on the internet. No napping. No irrelevant reading. No poking my nose into Chris's business. Energy should be directed at the thesis only. If I get distracted, I will count to 5 and redirect ( Read more... )

I've come to realize that even though life seems quite scary sometimes, in most cases, it really is quite straightforward at the individual level--either you can do something about it or you can't. Problems become hard to deal with only when (1) we get so scared that we avoid doing what we're supposed to do in order to prevent or solve the problem ( Read more... )

It was SOOO cold walking from my car to the office today. It was horrible. And now it's time to walk back to the car, and I'm afraid.

This yucky feeling sits in my chest. An event tonight contradicts what I thought I knew. I just have to remind myself that I only have so much control over how things are, no matter how sad it makes me.

There's an orientation tonight to join the Community Barter Network. For every hour of service (whatever you want) you provide, you get an hour of service from someone in the Network. My roommate bakes things and teaches basic use of internet and word processing and in return gets free massages and life coaching. I'll probably offer babysitting ( Read more... )

Some friends back home and I get together every year to do a Secret Santa type thing. Around Thanksgiving, we draw names to determine who we will secretly buy an Xmas gift for. (I'm not participating this year, because I won't be going back home until the Lunar New Year.) This year, someone in that group suggested that they each create a wish list ( Read more... )

I've been thinking about getting out of school as soon as possible (i.e., quit after I get my master's, instead of going the doctoral route), so that I can start doing things the way I want. I'm tired of my daily schedule being dictated by what I'm supposed to do to meet other people's expectations of me. But at this point in my journey into being ( Read more... )