Hi! I've been an escort for the past few years, and I've got an opinion about protestors that I think is in the minority, and I'd like to share it and see what comes up
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I think it is easy to see "civility" and forget that these people still have an ultimate goal of coercion. To me, coercion is violence (even if not physical violence). I think you may be underestimating other escorts. Many of us recognize different types of harassers. For instance, at the clinic where I currently escort, we have a "catholics corner" that we don't mind as much, because they are generally quieter and don't yell at the women. We have a paid ringleader who likes to go around and take pictures of people to post on her website (harassment, definitely), but who knows the most about what is and is not legally permissable and therefore can help us if another harasser gets out of control. Etc etc. I see differences among them. And we are civil toward all of them. That's our job as volunteer escorts. But I will not pretend that they are not out to coerce women into bearing children. When the frame shifts so much that we think people standing outside a medical facility to invade the privacy of women seeking a procedure
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When the frame shifts so much that we think people standing outside a medical facility to invade the privacy of women seeking a procedure is actually acceptable,
I agree with this. Even if they're being "nice" about it, what they're doing is fundamentally unacceptable.
that said, as I admit below, I have a hard time being uncivil because... I was raised to be civil. I'm programmed. My husband has no trouble just not speaking to the protestors, but I have difficulty ignoring direct civility.
Hmmm...taking pictures of patients? I've had that happen a few times, but mostly when I've not been around. I'd have a harder time staying civil with that type of intimidation.
Approaching a patient and talking decently with a patient, while unexpected and almost always unwanted, is within the rights of the protesters. People have a right to be rude. Taking pictures and yelling unkind things is what I consider intimidation, and isn't acceptable, and that's when I would start interfering as much as I legally can.
I'm there for the patients. I don't say hi or goodbye to the protesters because if they weren't there I could be donating my time to a soup kitchen or some other immediate care issue. Their presence is a direct intimidation of women's rights. I don't call them names, or hurt them - to me 'being civil' is that.
That said, where I do defense there are some really horrid protesters. I don't think it is amped up by us (I don't engage with them at all) but rather by their own sense of entitlement.
I'm always without fail, smiling and upbeat and "nice". (Years of food service training under my belt). Not because I want to be honestly be nice to the protesters, rather 1) because it makes the patients feel better and 2) actually pisses the protesters off more than anything factual or mean I could ever say or do. I've had guys try to convince me I'm evil because I'm smiling. I smile more, and the convince me of having an abortion, getting more angry. I grin, and they claim the reason I am so evil is because my mother had an abortion and failed. I keep grinning and am pretty much laughing and they get so frustrated they leave. It happened before. It's a win-win.
Sounds like a good tactic, but I have a question about that: I'm aware that many women are somewhat conflicted by their decision to have an abortion, and that this may not rank as a particularly mundane/happy/normal day for them. Do you percieve any problem with having a happy, smiley, upbeat attitude when their mood is not? How do you handle escorting women who are upset or agitated?
Anything that keeps the clients less stressed but yet aggrevates the antis is a welcome change.
I used to do barely civil when interacting with the other side. I'm just beginning to understand what that attutude was costing me. ...and that tension can telegraph to the women coming through the mess, which is the last thing THEY need. It's really about them, though: getting clients in with the least fuss and problem.
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I agree with this. Even if they're being "nice" about it, what they're doing is fundamentally unacceptable.
that said, as I admit below, I have a hard time being uncivil because... I was raised to be civil. I'm programmed. My husband has no trouble just not speaking to the protestors, but I have difficulty ignoring direct civility.
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Approaching a patient and talking decently with a patient, while unexpected and almost always unwanted, is within the rights of the protesters. People have a right to be rude. Taking pictures and yelling unkind things is what I consider intimidation, and isn't acceptable, and that's when I would start interfering as much as I legally can.
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That said, where I do defense there are some really horrid protesters. I don't think it is amped up by us (I don't engage with them at all) but rather by their own sense of entitlement.
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I am ashamed :(
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Anything that keeps the clients less stressed but yet aggrevates the antis is a welcome change.
I used to do barely civil when interacting with the other side. I'm just beginning to understand what that attutude was costing me. ...and that tension can telegraph to the women coming through the mess, which is the last thing THEY need. It's really about them, though: getting clients in with the least fuss and problem.
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